It's Up To You Who You Choose

when I turned 30, I was pregnant and delivered a baby boy. When my son turned 7 years old, I faced the crisis of my life because I knew that my husband had an affair. I tried to revenge his actions by turning to be a prostitute again.Then one day, I asked him “Who would you choose between me and her?”

Dhamma Articles > Case studies
[ Jan 12th, 2006 ] - [ read : 15956 ]
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It's Up To You Who You Choose
Dear Luang Phaw

I am a Thai citizen living in Germany.  I started to join Dhammakaya Temple in June 2005 (BE 2548).  

I accidentally got tuned into the signal of the Dhamma Satellite channel.  This allows me to pursue perfection with Dhammakaya community right up to this current time.

I intentionally joined Luang Phaw to pursue perfection until my death and send my case study as follows:

My father was a Bangkae resident and a good-looking man.  He had lots of girls chasing after him.  However, he fell in love and married my mother who was a Bangmod resident too.  They moved to Klongtoey Slum after that.

Due to our poverty and with my father never taking care of our family properly as  most of his life was devoted to drinking, smoking and fighting with other people.  Even worse, he was a hooligan in this slum.

He drank with his friends and controlled the slum community around that area.  Once they got drunk they would all fight with each other.  He always caused trouble to our family.  He also dated other girls in front of my mother.  He is now staying with his new wife, who is a mistress during his last stages of life.  Currently he is 78 years old.

My mother is a good person.  She was in a trading business.  They had 7 children, five girls and two boys.  I am the forth daughter. All of her life, she only met hardships.  She had to carry and sell vegetables and fruits to support our family.

My father never helped her. She was always sad regularly seeing my father with others girls. I always saw her crying with tears on her cheeks.   However, she still stayed with my father since she loved her children.  She wanted us to have a good life though she had to work hard.  She never complained.  She had to get up at 3am to start work and returned home around 8pm  

If she returned home early on any day, she would teach us “we work very hard.  We must eat good food and live in a good place since we do not know what will happen tomorrow.  We thus must be filled up with healthy food today.”  She sacrificed for everyone in our family to have a meal before her.  She would be the last person to have that meal.

Especially dinner time between 9 -10pm, I saw my mother fall asleep at her dish regularly after returning from work. Due to  her hard-working, the head coolie at Klongtoey Port asked and offered her to be another head coolie.

At that time, there were around a thousand labourers carrying exported commodities at the Port.  My mother had to do the carrying work as well.  She worked long days and nights and hardly had any rest.  She then was diagnosed with high blood pressure and diabetes.

Later in 2000 (BE 2543), she was sick with a cataract.  She went to see the doctor to get it removed.  On the third day of this removal she became completely blind.  She could not see anything causing her to fall down and hit the floor.  Then she became paralysed in half of her body and could only stay at home.

Even worse, she later heard that her son died with food poisoning.  She was very depressed and her illness from high blood pressure and diabetes got worse.  She finally died when she was 66 years old.

As for me, I was born and raised at Klongtoey Slum.  I did not study.  When I was 11 I was put into public school until the first grade.  I had to quit school to help my mother.  At the age of 12, I was hired to carry construction materials such as brick, concrete, and sand.  All earnings were given to my mother.

Once I was 17 years old, I was hired as a labourer at Klongtoey Port helping my mother who was a head coolie.  During that time, my mother found a man to marry me but, I neither liked nor loved him.  The closer the wedding day came, the more bored I got.  I decided to ask my friend who I respected as a brother to help me escape from the marriage plans.

 However, it was like “out of the frying pan into the fire”.  That's because he raped me after taking me to his parent's house at Nakorn Patom. When I was six-months pregnant I found that he already had a wife.

His mother scolded me with unpleasant words everyday.  I could not stand it and came back to my parents.  After I gave birth to a baby girl, he came to stay with me.   However, he left me not too long after that.

When I was 18 years old, there were a number of men chasing after me. I did not like any of them.  Later one day, I got raped by one of the labourers at the Port.  I neither spoke about this terrifiing event nor got involved with him as he had already got a wife.

When I was twenty years old, I still did not have a permanent job.  My daughter was growing up.  My mother was unemployed since she had a fight with another head coolie.  
She could not find a job for sometime.  We did not have a meal for two weeks.  We only had bamboo shoots enough for our survival everyday.

My mother went out and asked neighbours for a job for me as a housekeeper or maid.  However, the neighbour offered me prostitution as the ‘work’. I had to do that for 2 years and unintentionally got pregnant without knowing who the father of the baby was.  I aborted the child four months into my pregnancy.

That night, I had a dream with a boy sitting on my tummy and speaking to me “You are a cruel mother why do you kill me?” I answered “I had to since I did not have any money and I was afraid that you would starve.”  The boy said “I shall be reborn to be your only son.”  I suddenly was startled and woke up with fear.

When I was 22, while working at night club, I met a German man who was a guest. He loved me at the first sight, and also gave me an amount of money to support my family.

He stayed with me for three days before he flew back to Germany. Afterwards, he wrote me a letter and explained “He really loves me and would like to marry me”.  He also asked me whether I feel the same way as him.  

At that time I had no one and then I wrote him back that “I love you and will marry you.”  He came back to marry me and brought me to Germany, I was 25 years old then.

In 1992 (BE 2535), when I turned 30, I was pregnant and delivered a baby boy. When my son turned 7 years old, I faced the crisis of my life because I knew that my husband had an affair.    I could not stand him, and I tried to revenge his actions by turning to be a prostitute again.

He did not care about me and he did not touch me again. That hurt me very much.  Then one day, I spoke to him with an ultimatum that “Who would you choose between me and her?”

He was reluctant to say. I cried and said that “your silent, that means you choose her. I will leave with my son.” He came to me and said that “I choose you and our child. I love you and him, I will not choose that woman.” That made me happy.  After that my heart almost broke because my only child had an accident. He was hit by a truck. His head smashed onto the edge of the pavement nearby the house.

He had a serious injury, hyperemia, congestion in his brain; and his heart stopped beating on five occasions. However, the doctor could help him and he had to stay in the hospital for 8 months.

Currently, the right part of his body is paralysed. My husband and I have to closely take care of him. my husband said to me that 'if both of us were to die before him, how could our child survive?” After that he tried to persuade all of us to commit suicide but I did not agree with him.   

In June 2005 (BE 2548), I installed a satellite dish to watch Thai soap operas, but fortunately the installation man tuned into DMC by chance. Currently, I am a fan of DMC and dream in dream kindergarten student. I convinced my husband and son to watch the channel all the time but I do not know whether they can understand it very well or not.

My husband knows a bit about how to attain merit because I often took him to the temple and made merit when we were in Thailand. I also explained about how to perform merit in Buddhism. Therefore, he liked and understood this more.

He also intended to ordain in Buddhism. After we have a son, he also planned to ordain together with his son at his age of 7. One day he agreed with our son that they will ordain at a temple in Thailand, and I also will hold the eight precepts and become a nun. Unfortunately, my son had an accident before this happened.

My husband currently lives a despairing life style as he drinks alcohol and smokes. He does not believe in good deeds like before, he also told that “he always does the good thing, but bad things still happened in our family.”  He does not care in accruing merits anymore.

My husband's father hates my husband very much because he thought that my husband caused his wife's death. His mother had breast cancer since she was pregnant with him. After she delivered him, her illness became worse, and was incurable. The cancer expanded all over her body until she died. That is the reason why he hates my husband so much.   

He is always upset and angry every time they meet. In 2004 (BE 2547), my husband's father got Alzheimer's disease without any noticeable symptoms and now he cannot remember anything.  He urinates and excretes all over the house, I have to clean up and give him a shower every time this happens.

Every time I clean his body, he always asks me “who are you? And what are you doing to me?” I answer that “don't you remember? I am your daughter-in-law.”

He shouted to everyone in the house. My husband could not stand it; he took his father for treatment at a nursing home. That made him even worse. He can only roll his eyes as a paralytic, and cannot help himself. He is now 78 years old.


1. What kamma made my father a hooligan and love to fight and flirt?  What kamma does he have? What should he do to resolve this?

2. What kamma made my mother have a flirty husband and a suffering life?
Why did my mother have high blood pressure, diabetes and cataract? Then cataracts removal by a doctor resulting in blindness in both of her eyes; and also she slipped and fell resulting in paralysis in the lower half of her body and then she died?
Where has she been reborn? Has she recevied merit from my dedicaiton?
What kamma made my husband's father hate him very much? Is it because my husband is the cause of his mother's death?
Why does his father have Alzheimer and paralysis? Is there anyway for him to recover? How is it so?

3. Where was I before I was reborn? What kamma made me reborn in a slum and not have a chance to study?

4. What kamma made me be raped by two married men? Although I had a baby, he did not take responsibility and ran away. How should I resolve this retribution?

5. What kamma made me a prostitute?
How does being a prostitute in this life result in retribution in the next life?
What kamma do I have from abortion? How should I resolve it?

6. Is it true about my dream that the son I aborted asking for being reborn with me? Is he my son?

7. What retribution made my son be hit by a car to be handicapped and have to live in a wheelchair all the time? Will he recover? What should he do to recover?

8. What retribution made me have to clean urine and waste of both my husband's father and my handicapped son?
What kamma have I had with both of them?

9. Why do I have a good German husband? What kamma do we have together? How do we retain this married life forever?

10. My husband and my son intended to ordain but once my son had the accident and became disabled they were unable to ordain. Why did my husband change his mind and have no faith in Buddhism? How should I advise him?

11. What kamma led my husband to try and persuade me to commit suicide with my entire family?

12. How did my family pursue perfection with Dhammakaya Community?
Will I be able to pursue perfection and follow our community to Tusita (the 4th level of heaven), in the special merit zone?

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

1. Your father is a hooligan. He loves to fight and flirt. This is because of his past kamma. He associated with fools, which made him rebellious. Also, he showed very little generosity.    
  • He breaks all 5 self-disciplines, which caused his mind to be dull. He will have to travel into many levels of Major Hell. Once he leaves the hell realms and is born as a human, he will be poor, have lot of diseases, will be prostitute and will have suffering life, etc.
  • To resolve and close the gate to hell, he has to quit all of those bad deeds and begin to give generously (Dana), hold 5 precepts (Sila) and meditate until his mind is clear and attains his inner Dhammakaya. If he cannot attain inner Dhammakaya, the serious consequences would reduced but will still remain serious consequences.
2. Your mother had a flirty husband and had suffering life because in the past life, she also did like your father does in this life. She has repaid her bad deeds for many lives already. In this life, what happened to her were just remnants of her past retribution. In the past life, she was also stingy so she had suffering in this life.
  • She had diabetes, high blood pressure and cataract. The removal of cataract by a doctor resulting in blindness in both of her eyes, and she slipped and fell resulting in paralysis on the lower half of her body because of her past kamma when she was a man. She associated with fools. She was a hooligan, often harmed other people and killed animals for food and snacks; for alcohol drinking as well as punching others until they were blinded. All of these retributions resulted in her aforementioned conditions in her life this time.
  • At the beginning of her death, she was a hunger spirit because she did not accrue merits when she was alive. Later, her condition became better because of merits dedicated to her but she has not been reborn as a human yet.
3. Your husband's father hates your husband very much as a result from his thought that your husband is the cause of his wife's death. In the past life when your husband was a foreman and your husband's parents were labourers, your husband ordered his parents to work at heights causing your husband's mother's death from falling down.

  • [In fact, your husband's mother died because of many of her past killing kamma.] So, your husband's father was vengeful similar to what he is in this life. When your husband's father meets your husband in this life and the same situation happened again, consequently, he hates your husband very much.

  • Your husband's father has Alzheimers disease with no reason and paralysis because in that past life, when he was drunk, he often quarreled with others and, one time, he hit his opponent with wood until they suffered with Alzheimers and were paralysed.     

  • This retribution catches up your husband's father in this life and causes him to be like that. It will not disappear. You should cast Dhammakaya image and accrue all merits for your husband's father in order for him to forgive your husband and have no more revenge.

4. Before you were born, you were spirit looking for birth place because, in the past lives, you had done lots of bad deeds; such as, kamma from stinginess and not giving, adultery kamma, stubborn kamma and broke 5 self-disciplines, etc.
  • You have had a suffering life, were born in slum and did not have a chance to study because, in this life, you repay some of your bad deeds. In your previous lives, you suffered even more than those of this life. Therefore, you should not be discouraged or sad but, instead, you should be patient to do lots of merits so you can escape from the retributions. 
  • Also, you did not have merits from supporting education and associating with wise men so you did not have an opportunity to study.
5. You were raped by two married men, then you had babies with them but they were not responsible and ran away. This is the picture reflecting your past actions that you used to do the same things in the past life. 
  • To resolve this, in this life, you must hold all five self-disciplines (Sila), offer generosity (Dana), and meditate (Bhavana) regularly so the merits will lessen the retributions from serious to less serious or escape from the retributions.
 6. You have to be prostitute because of remnants from your past adultery kamma when you were a man. 
  • Being a prostitute in this life is a part of repaying the past retributions. You had been like this for many lives already. Therefore, you must accrue all merits and lots of them to escape from these retributions.
  • As a result of your abortion, you will go to hell in the level that all aborted women reside and, once your retribution is repaid, you will be born as a human with lots of diseases, short life or be aborted many times before you are born as a human.
  • To resolve it, you have to speedily offer generosity (Dana), hold self-disciplines (Sila) and meditate (Bhavana) a great deal so that the merits can repay the retributions, especially you must attain your inner Dhammakaya.

7. You dreamt that the son you aborted asking to be born with you is true. The story is that the son you aborted has been aborted many times already, and he told you in the dream before he became your embryo.    
  • In the past life, this son used to be your foolish friend when you were a man who was rebellious and flirty as well as broke all self-disciplines.
8. Your son was hit by a car to be handicapped and has to live with wheel chair all the time because, in the past life when you were a rebellious man who loved to fight, your son was your friend and equally rebellious.

  • In that life, your son quarreled with another gang and was assaulted by them. You supported him to revenge his enemy until he was disabled. As a result of this action, your son had the accident causing him to be disabled.

  • You have kamma to take care of him because you cheered him on to revenge his enemy.
9.  You have to clean urine and waste and take care of both your husband's father and your son, because of your son's past kamma that he revenged his enemy with your support.

  • Your husband's father was a laborer like you in the life that your husband was a foreman. In that life, you encouraged your husband's father to harm his enemy until he was paralysed, as a result of that; you have to take care of him.
10. You have a good German husband because in the life that your husband was a foreman and you were a laborer, you and he were in love and became husband and wife so in this life, you and he become husband and wife again.

  • To retain your love and married life forever, you have to make compromises with each other, smile, and praise, be flexible, and be calm, etc as well as encourage each other to accrue merits together.
11. Your husband and your son intended to ordain but once your son had the accident and becomes disabled, your husband changed his mind as well as has no faith in Buddhism because he does not understand the Law of Kamma that, it is because of his son's personal kamma. Your husband thinks that the merits do not help your son.

  • You have to explain to him so he can understand because if he does not accrue merits, his life will be even worse, nothing can lessen retributions except for merits.
12.  Your husband tried to persuade you to commit suicide because, in the life that your husband was a foreman, he often scolded labourers who did things to dissatisfy him, to commit suicide but no one did, so it is just verbal kamma consequence to make him think and try to persuade.

  • Do not commit suicide because it will cause you having committing suicide retribution. We are born to pursue perfection so we must apply fullest efforts to accrue all merits so we will have merits to make us happy and success in life.
13. Your family used to make merit with our community many Kappa ago. In past life, you were a wealthy man's son. You had lots of money. Your husband and your son were friends in the same group. In that life, your parents had faith in our community so they persuaded you to pursue perfection but you, who associated with fools, just followed your parents when they were alive and did not continue after they died. As a result of that, you had been apart from Dhammakaya community for very long time and have suffering life.

  • In this life, the merits that you made because of your parents' persuasion attract us to meet each other again. Therefore you should apply fullest efforts to pursue perfection and do not let your life step backward again.
  • In this life we meet again, you should pursue perfections fully in every merit. Make a wish to follow our community to Tusita (the 4th level of heaven), in the special merit zone and don't be apart from each other

Case study in real life

The Law of Kamma (Pali:Compared to "Karma" in Sanskrit) segment or "Case Study" is one of the prominent sections on the Dream in Dream kindergarten program, conducted by the Venerable Phrarajbhavanavisudh, also known as, Luang Phaw Dhammajayo of the Dhammakaya Temple in Pathum Thani Province, Thailand.

Each individualized "Case Study" is based on the timeless Law of Kamma (the Law of Cause and Effect) which examines the reasons for many situations and complex inter-relationships people find themselves in. Viewers from around the world write personal letters to Luang Phaw wanting to understand the karmic reasons for many special circumstances in their life.

This program is not intended to convert anyone to Buddhism or any other religions persuasion. Rather the goal is to help spread genuine peace, happiness and understanding here in Thailand and around the world. By first discovering and cultivating inner peace within ourselves through meditation, we can help spread love and kindness outward, helping to make our world a better place for everyone.


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