True Love

CASE  STUDY

True Love

 

 

 

With great respect to Luang Phaw.

I was born in Ayuthaya province.  We were neither rich nor poor.
While I was in secondary school, I had a classmate who liked to tease and make fun of me.  I remember him very well. After I graduated from secondary school, each person went their own way to continue their studies and did not encounter one another.

When I graduated with a degree in nursing, I met up with that one friend again. He told me that he was studying mechanical engineering and had received a scholarship to further his studies in Japan.
But he had to give up his chance to go because his family’s business selling medicine was in crisis because they had debts of 10 million baht. (this took place about 30 years ago)

This matter required them to appear at court but all his siblings had fled and nobody took responsibility. So he agreed to take on the burden of the entire debt on behalf of his father.  He was 22 years old at the time. I felt very sorry for him.  I became his friend to soothe him.

About 2 months later, he told me something I had not expected to hear at all: he asked me to marry him. I was speechless.  But I thought that he had a very urgent problem that he had to solve.  And I did want his family to worry.  So I decided to say OK and we married.

After this, I moved in with him and resigned from my position as a nurse.  I helped to sell medicine at his pharmacy, his family’s original business. My life was tiring and difficult. But I did not worry.  I only thought that if I was a good person, the debt was not such a big problem.  It would gradually lessen until it was paid off.

We worked very hard helping each other sell medicine.  Our pharmacy had very good business.  Some days, we hardly had time to eat. If someone came to buy medicine, I would honestly recommend medicines and ways of taking care of their health.

I only thought that if the client would recover, I would be happy and receive merit.  If a person lacked the money to pay, I did not charge him.  I saw this as a form of assistance for a person suffering. This was especially true for a monk, in which case I would make an offering of the medicine.

After about 10 years, we paid off all the debt.  The status of our household improved over time and now we have 4 houses and 4 cars. When we were still in debt, my husband had a lot of stress because he had to appear in court often. None of his siblings helped him at all, even though he had not been the cause of the debt. The debt was the result of his older brother and his brother’s wife.
Because my husband had a generous attitude, liked to socialize, and loved his friends, his friends liked to invite him drinking. He drank often, so often that he became an alcoholic.  He became so addicted that he almost drank alcohol as a substitute for water.
If we took all the cans of beer that he consumed, we would surely be able to construct a 2-story building. When he became addicted to drinking beer, his personality changed.  He broke all 5 precepts.
From being a kind person, he became easy to anger.  He liked to complain and blame people.  He objected to what I did constantly, even though he had not been like this before. Even when I made offerings to the monks on their morning alms round, he would follow me to criticize my behavior.

I was not angry.  So he blamed the monks instead.  I stopped giving alms to the monks because I did not want him to commit this sin anymore. He changed from being economical with money to spending large sums daily. Sometimes he could not get money from me, in which case he would ask his own children for money.

The children were not happy with this situation.  They started to respect him less until they said “Mom, we want to have a normal father like other children.  We’re tired of our father acting like this.  But he is still our father.  No matter how sick of this we are, we have to deal with it.”  

After becoming an alcoholic, my husband started to become ill often from the poison of alcohol.  The doctor ordered him to stop drinking but he did not listen and continued to drink.
One day while he was lying down watching television, he fell asleep and never woke up again.

I took him to the hospital.  The doctor said he was already dead.  He was 51 years old.
When I was about 26 years old, I was married but did not have children.  And I had not yet started coming to Wat Phra Dhammakaya.

Once I attended a meeting and stayed at a hotel in Bangkok.  The hotel had many stories.  I stayed by myself in a room on the second floor.
At the time, it was after 11 pm and I felt so tired that I fell asleep.  At the time I could not sleep soundly.  I suddenly opened my eyes.
I saw two hungry ghosts emerge halfway from the walls.  Their heads until their waists were in my room.  The rest of their bodies were on the other side of the wall at the floor below mine, outside the building.
They were probably about 20 meters tall.  Their appearance and complexion were wrinkled, pale.  They eyes were sunken and their flesh was falling off. I could not tell if they were male or female.  They looked at me with sad eyes.  They spoke as if they wanted my help but I could not hear them. Their heads swayed from side to side.  At the time I felt very afraid.  I was drenched in sweat which made the bed wet, even though I was in an air-conditioned room.  I could only chant to myself “Na Ma Bha Dha” repeatedly and say “Don’t bother me.” I saw them for about 15 minutes, after which the two hungry ghosts disappeared. After this I felt very tired.  Before I slept, I thought of the Lord Buddha continually.

While I was in this state of fatigue, I felt as though someone had walked into the room right up next to my bed.  I did not open my eyes but it seemed to be 2 men.  The wore white and were about 40 years old.  They looked at me. One of them asked me how I was doing.  I answered them mentally by saying I was fine, that there was nothing to worry about. The 2 of them walked around the room, checking it.  After a while they disappeared.  Then I fell asleep from fatigue.

One month later, I thought about this event.  When I made merit, I dedicated the merit to the 2 hungry ghosts. My first child was a son.  He was born because after being married for 5 years, while I was 27 years old, my mother-in-law wanted grandchildren very much.A vow was made with the spirit medium of a spirit named Pan who had been a soldier during the reign of King Rama 5.  Only one month later, I became pregnant.

Two months after I gave birth, my son cried nonstop from noon until 9 pm. I did not know what to do.  So I lit incense and told the spirit Pan that I did not know what was wrong with my son.  I wish that you will help him to recover.  I could not believe it but he got better.

Three months later, my mother-in-law took me and my son to pay respect to the spirit Pan.
While we were walking up the stairs to the spirit medium’s house, the medium said “Well, when your son had a stomach ache you called me.” I was stunned because I had never told anyone that I had asked for the spirit Pan’s help. When I gave birth, I had toxemia.  My blood pressure was high.  The doctor did not treat me directly but gave me medicine.  I became increasingly ill. When I was 34, I started to get ill again because of my hard work.  I almost died many times because of a kidney disease. When I was going to have my kidney dialysis, my husband’s relative did not let me go, saying it was a waste of money.  The relative wanted me to take Chinese medicine, even though it was our own money.

Once the symptoms were very bad and I had to rush to the intensive care unit.
I could not think.  I only said “Bhu-Dho.”  All I could think was that if I died, I would be with the Lord Buddha. When I arrived at the hospital, one doctor who was a professor of medicine had just returned from abroad.  We met by accident in front of the hospital.  He said “I don’t know what I was thinking by coming to this hospital first.  Normally I go to other hospitals first.”  He followed me to the ICU and cared for me.  Otherwise, I might have died.

After this, I had to have kidney dialysis weekly.  I have had 2 kidney transplant operations.
The first time, I received a new right kidney at Siriraj Hospital.  After 16 years, this kidney failed.
I had the second kidney transplant in 2003 when my son sacrificed his kidney for me.  I replaced my left kidney. My second child was a daughter.  She was very stubborn as a child.  She had a reason for everything and I had to hit her to quell this obstinacy. She had many friends.  They went to build a tree house.  She was constantly naughty but never sullied the reputation of the family. I wondered, thinking that she was born in the year of the monkey.  So maybe this explained why she was so naughty.

When she grew older, she liked monkeys very much.  She had pictures of monkeys, monkey sculptures, and monkey dolls all over her room.  And she liked to go to Kao Wang at Lopburi Province [a hill with many monkeys in central Thailand] And it was strange that when they went there, the monkeys would pester other children but would not pester my daughter at all.

My daughter’s school was across from the sacred shrine called San Phra Kan [which has many monkeys].  When she went to school, she had to cross a pedestrian bridge.  Monkeys would play on the bridge but they would not enter the school. They monkeys would pester the children.  They would steal ice cream, take personal items, or bite the children.

But my daughter would hold out candy for them to eat because she liked them.  And the monkeys would not pester her. It was really strange.  I do not know if she was once the leader of the monkeys in this area.  But even if she was a monkey, I truly love my daughter.

Later I came to Wat Phra Dhammakaya for the first time in 1995, while the temple was building the Dhammakaya Cetiya.  My nephew invited me to come to the temple.  He is a doctor who volunteers his medical services at the temple every Sunday. But I did not come often because I was busy with the family business.  When I had the chance to come again, it was because a laywoman at the temple invited me to build a Thousand Year Pillar.  After this I returned regularly to the temple to make merit.

And I had a chance to meditate at Suan Pannawat in Chiang Mai Province.  This increased my understanding.  I wish that I will have the opportunity to make merit with Luang Phaw always.

Questions:

1. Why did my husband do well in his studies but not have the chance to take his scholarship to study abroad?  Why did he have to take on the burden of his family’s debt?  Why did his siblings not need to take responsibility for the debt?

What demerit will his siblings accumulate for not assisting the family?

2. What demerit caused me to take on the responsibility for the debt accumulated by my husband’s family?  Even if I had not married him, I would not have had such a difficult life.

What is the reason why our current situation is good?  Is it because of my merit, my husband’s merit, or the merit that we made together?

3. Where is my husband?  I made merit on his behalf by building a personal Buddha image and a Thousand Year Pillar.  When he was alive and strong, I asked him to rejoice in the merit but was indifferent.  Will he receive this merit or not?  Can this merit help him?  Does he have a message for me?

4. What demerit caused my husband to die at the age of 51?

What merit caused him to die peacefully without feeling pain?
     
Did the demerit he accumulated from drinking alcohol expedite his demerit from killing, causing him to die at an early age?  If he had not been an alcoholic, would he have lived much longer?

5. Did my son come from the vow made to the spirit Pan?  Is he the child of the spirit Pan?

What caused my son to cry when he was 2 months old?

Did the spirit Pan help my son recover?  How could the spirit Pan have known?  Who is the spirit Pan?

6. Was my daughter a monkey in her past life?  Why does she like monkeys?  Why do monkeys not pester her?

7. What demerit caused me to have kidney disease and require dialysis often?  Why have I needed 2 kidney transplants?

Did my son accumulate demerit with me such that he had to give up his kidney to me?  What merit will he accumulate?

8. What demerit caused my husband’s relative to prevent me from going for kidney dialysis, even though it was our own money?

What led the professor of medicine to come to that hospital and not go to other hospitals, thereby helping me to survive?

9. Did I see the 2 hungry ghosts with my own eyes or was it a dream?  Why did they appear to me?

Who were the 2 men in white who came to see me?  Why did they come?

10. My nephew who is my kalayanamitta is a doctor.

During the last Buddha-interval [the period between the appearance of one Buddha and the next] what was his duty in the Dhammakaya community?  Where was he from?  In this life he would like to be a doctor taking care of monks, novices, and members of the Dhammakaya community.  Will his wish come true?

11. A monk told me that being husband and wife, father and child, mother and child, or siblings means that these people have similar merit.  Is this true?

If it is true, why is it that these people do not have the same opinions and thoughts, and cannot communicate with one another?

12. In the past Buddha-interval [the period between the appearance of one Buddha and the next], how did I, my husband, and my children make merit with the Dhammakaya community?  Can we return to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven)?  Will we follow the community to make merit in every life?

With great respect to Luang Phaw.

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

 

1. Your husband did well in his studies but not have the chance to take his scholarship to study abroad.  He had to take on the burden of his family’s debt.  His past demerit followed to interfere in his most recent life.

• In his past life, he was a son beloved by his parents.  But he spent money frivolously.

• His parents sent him to study in another town, which at that time was like sending him to another country.

 

 

• His parents had to take on debt to support his studies.  But when he graduated, he did not help his parents pay off the debt. When his parents complained, he retorted “It is your wish to send me to study in another town.” This made his parents feel very sorry.  And his parents had to work to pay off the debt. This demerit caused your husband to be unable to study abroad in his most recent life.  It made him have to take responsibility for his family’s debt, like he did with his own parents in his past life.   
  

 

• His siblings have received demerit indirectly.  When they are in need someday, nobody will help them.

 

2.    You had to take responsibility for the debt with your husband, even though you would not have had a difficult life had you not married him.  This is because in that past life, you were his girlfriend when he was studying in that town away from his home. You helped him spend his money for eating and going out.

 

• You are now wealthy because of the merit you made together with your husband when you married each other in that life. When you found a job, you took care of your husband’s parents And you and your husband made merit by giving to charity because there was no Buddhism at that time.

 

3.    Your husband is in hell for those who accumulate demerit from drinking alcohol, even though he should be at a deeper level of hell. But he has the merit you made on his behalf from building the Thousand Year Pillar and the personal Buddha image.  This merit, and other merit that you made for him, helped save him from the deeper level of hell.

 

 

• Now the denizens of hell are pouring boiling copper down his throat, causing him great suffering.
 
• He only cries “Oy, oy” and now believes in the law of kamma. He would like to have more merit, even when the denizens of hell stop torturing him on Buddhist full-moon days.  He still cries.

 

4.    Your husband died at the age of 51 because of his demerit from drinking alcohol and ordering people to kill animals for snacks. For example, in his past he ordered the killing of cattle to feed his guests.

 

• He died peacefully in his sleep because the demerit was from ordering others to kill animals.  He did not kill them himself.
  

• If he had not consumed alcohol, he would have lived longer.

 

5.   Your son was an earth spirit who lived close to the spirit house of spirit Pan, a soldier in the army of King Rama 5.  But spirit Pan only had enough merit to be the head of the earth spirits in that area. When you asked him for a child, he showed your son the way to follow you to be born.  This was because his merit to be an earth spirit was gone.

 

 

• When he was 2 months old, he really had a stomach ache.  The spirit Pan really helped him. The spirit Pan used the vidhayadhara [sorcerer] knowledge.  But even if nobody had helped, your son’s stomach ache from being a colicky baby would have gone away on its own.

 

6.    Your daughter was born as a monkey in many lives.  So she is accustomed to monkeys.  She still has the elements of a monkey so she likes monkeys and monkeys like her.  So monkeys do not harm her.

 

• She was born as a monkey because of light demerit from being a womanizer in a life when she was born as a man.  She fooled women into loving her.  This deception of women caused her to be born as a monkey.
  
• But after she was a monkey, she was born as a human being in many lives until her present life.  But she has not left her past persona behind.

 

7.    You have kidney disease, must receive dialysis often, and have required 2 kidney transplants on both sides.  This is because of your demerit from charging high interest on money you lent to others.  It is also because you confiscated the possessions of your clients who could not pay back their loans.

 

 

• Your son in that life accumulated demerit from helping you collect loan payments with high interest.  So he had to give up his kidney to you in this life. But he had earned merit from giving his kidney to his mother, from demonstrating his gratitude to her. This merit will make him strong.  He will have people take care of him and he will not live in difficult circumstances.

 

8.    Your husband’s relative prevented you from going for kidney dialysis, even though it was your own money.  This is because of the demerit from stinginess in your past lives. In addition to your own stinginess, you were disappointed at seeing others make merit.    

 

 

• But you have merit from taking care of your parents in a past life.  This led you to receive help from the professor of medicine.

 

9.   You saw the hungry ghosts in your dream because your body was not in its normal condition.  Do not take this seriously. 

 

10.    Your nephew who is your kalayanamitta is currently a doctor.  In the last Buddha-interval [the period between the appearance of one Buddha and the next], he was also a doctor. And he supported the Dhammakaya community by taking care of sick monks and novices.  This pattern followed him into his present life.  His wish to care for monks, novices, and members of the community will come true.

 

 

• He has made merit with the Dhammakaya community in many lives.  In the last Buddha-interval, he meditated until he reached a clear inner Buddha image and returned to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven).
  

 

11.    A monk told you that being husband and wife, father and child, mother and child, or siblings means that these people have similar merit.  This is true. But there are many distinctions.  People can join in merit or join in demerit.  Merit or sin can be very similar.  People can wish when their minds are connected.

 

 

 

 

• People can have different thinking because their wisdom is unequal.  So do not be angry.  Forgive each other and you will feel at ease.

 

12.    You, your husband, and your children have made merit with the Dhammakaya community in the past as supporters.  So in some lives you met the community and in others you did not.  This is because you did not make merit continually.  It depended on your feelings at the time.

 

• In this life we meet again and diligently make all forms of merit to the fullest degree.  Make the resolution that when you pass away we will all go to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven) together.  Let us not miss each other.

 

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