I Brought You Carrots

CASE  STUDY

I Brought You Carrots

  

   

With great respect to Luang Phaw:

I am a student of the Dream in Dream Kindergarten who has wanted to present my case study for a long time.  But I delayed because I was shy.  But my shyness has been replaced by a desire to know the truth about my life.  So I have submitted my story to the best and most famous show on the earth.

My paternal grandparents loved and were very proud of their daughter, my aunt.  This was because she was their only daughter to graduate from university.  After she graduated, she made great progress as a government civil servant, rising in the ranks to become section chief.  She was beloved by her employees and friends.

But at the time when her life was achieving such great strides and success, she learned something terrible that was almost impossible to accept.  She learned that she did not have long to live because her doctor diagnosed her with lung cancer in the final stages.

After this, she died at the age of only 29.  Her death left everyone in her household depressed, especially my father.  He was her younger brother and he had not dreamed that my aunt would die before him.  So he walked up to her coffin and said to her: “Please come back to be born again and may you be my daughter so that we can be together again.”

At that time, my mother had been pregnant only 2 months.  After the funeral, the situation in my house was normal with nothing wrong, until the day my mother was due to give birth.  Then a strange event occurred.  The nurse who was helping with the birth saw my deceased aunt’s face superimposed on the face of the newborn.

The nurse was so shocked that she ran out and told my grandmother who was in front of the delivery room. From that day on, everyone in the house was convinced that I was the deceased daughter of my paternal grandparents who had returned to life.

Soon after my birth, my grandparents asked to raise me themselves. I became the grandchild most beloved of my grandparents.  They liked to constantly tell everyone that all aspects of my behavior, appearance, and personality resembled my aunt’s.

I was raised by them with the utmost care and love.  As a result, I felt deeply connected with them and loved them as my though they were my real parents. But not every part of my life had a happy ending.  It was as though as my life went by I had an inner feeling that something was constantly pulling my grandparent’s love away from me.

It started when a young girl entered my life because my grandparents agreed to adopt a girl as their daughter, a girl who had a twin sister. They felt sorry for her after she was born.  Her parents were so poor that they had to give up their children to other people.

My grandmother chose to raise the older sibling.  The younger sibling was given to a relative of that family to raise.  My grandparents did not reveal to me or the older twin sibling that they were not our real parents. They raised her to grow up alongside me as a pair.  While I was growing up with her like this, a feeling arose in me: I did not like her at all.

The two of us constantly argued verbally about many things.  It was as though we had been born as adversaries.  Luang Phaw says: “No, this is not right.  You must say the right thing.  We were born to make merit.” I was surprised.  My grandparents loved me much more than her and gave me more of everything than her.  Every aspect of my life was more perfect than hers (the only exception was our beauty).  But why, why did I feel envious of her.  Luang Phaw says: “It’s the same as Garfield the Cat being envious in the cartoon movie.”

My feeling of envy left me uncomfortable and made me highly confused.  Was it really true that I felt jealous of someone who was worse off than me in every way? I also knew deep in my heart that I was acting badly and feared I was committing a sin.

When I started my university studies, I had the opportunity to participate in activities with the Student Buddhism Association and get training through the Dhammadaya program for women.  I learned more about the various principles of Dhamma.  This all made me satisfied and able think positively about my adopted sister.  When I thought this way, if I had delicious food, I wanted to bring it to her.

When I moved to stay at the university, we were distant from one another.  From arguing with one another, I turned to miss her. Her life was very pitiful.  She did not have her own parents or her own relatives. Although my grandparents tried hard to raise her as their own child in every way, she created many problems for them. When she had grown and started working, she had a problem involving money and assets at her company which led her to be imprisoned.  I was the only member of the family that visited her every month for an entire year.

I had never thought that in my life I would have to go to a jail.  Every time I rode the bus to visit my older sister, I pretended that I was going to a large shopping mall in the center of the city. But when the bus stopped, I could not avoid the truth.  The large, high fence at the center of the city that faced me was the jail.  It was where I had to enter to visit and cheer up my older sister.

Her life in the prison was difficult.  She had no freedom and was monitored constantly.  When I had seen her in the condition of an inmate, my dislike for her disappeared.  All that remained was sympathy for her. When she had served her full sentence and left the prison, her life did not progress at all. Things became even worse for her.  Her twin sister, her only remaining relative, was not someone she could rely on or consult at all. Her twin sister had an even more punishing life than she did.  The twin sister was raised to be the household servant.

When the twin sister grew older, she was raped.  She could not get her life on the right track.  She was a child with problems.  She ended up pregnant but could not locate the father.  When she had given birth, she had to give her child to someone else because she could not raise the child on her own.
And in the end, I found out that she traveled to Phang-nga Province and disappeared when the tsunami struck.  Her body has not yet been located.

My paternal grandmother was kind-hearted and compassionate.  She loved to make merit.  She regularly gave food to the monks during their alms rounds and chanted her morning and evening prayers almost every day.  On Buddhist days she listened to Dhamma sermons at the temple and kept the 8 precepts. At the end of her life, she had cancer in her lymph glands.

So I took a leave of absence from my second year at university to care for her. I thought that this would be my last opportunity to show my gratitude for her kindness.  It was a period of time when I felt happiest because every time I thought about this, I felt I had done my best for her.

In the final year of my grandmother’s life, I did everything I could to fill her with merit.  I tried to suggest that she meditate and make every type of merit available at the temple. I invited monks to come to the house often so that she could make merit. I did this even though her symptoms were severe.  She built a personal Buddha image and offered money to cast the golden image of Luang Pu. When her final hours arrived, I spoke the mantra “Sama Arahang” into her ears until she passed away peacefully at the age of 69.

My paternal grandfather was an orphan and poor.  He had to work and support himself from a young age. As a result he was much more frugal than my grandmother.  But he still had a generous heart regarding merit.  He made every form of merit that I invited him to make.  Yet he was addicted to cigarettes and drank a lot. So at the end of his life he became ill with emphysema.

I invited him to build one personal Buddha image on the dome of the Dhammakaya Cetiya.  But I did not return home to take care of him as closely as I did with my grandmother.

Once when he was under treatment at the hospital, I went to visit and care for him. On that day he wanted to exercise by walking around the room.  His legs were very weak at that time.  I did not want to disappoint him so I took him walking. At one point during the walk, I glanced at a spot of phlegm on a chair.  I reached for a tissue to wipe it up immediately, without supporting my grandfather with my hand.  At that very moment his legs gave out and he fell, hitting his head hard on floor. I was surprised and felt very sorry for him.  Only one night after this occurrence, he passed away.

I would like respectfully to ask Luang Phaw the following questions:

1. What demerit caused my aunt to have lung cancer and die at a young age?
When my father knocked on her coffin to tell her, did she hear it?
If she heard, what did she do later?  Where is she?  Did she receive the merit made on her behalf?  Does she have any messages for us?

2. Was it true that the nurse saw my aunt’s face superimposed on the newborn baby?
If it is true, why did my aunt have to do this? What demerit caused everyone to believe that my aunt was reborn as me?

3. What connection did my grandparents have with me and my adopted older sister in our past lives?
Why did they have to raise us and love us as their own daughters?

4. Did I and my adopted older sister accumulate demerit together?  How were we connected in our past lives?
What demerit caused me to dislike her, even though my life was better than hers?
What demerit did I accumulate from having these feelings?  What should I do to correct this demerit?

5. Why were my adopted older sister and her twin sister born as twins?  Why did their parents have to give them to others to raise?  Why did they have to be separated at a young age?
What demerit made them have such different lives?  Did the twin sister die?  If she died, where is she?

6. What demerit caused my adopted sister to be put in prison?  What demerit led her to have no success in her life?

7. What demerit caused me to have to visit her in jail, despite that fact that I did not want to go?  Did she ever make merit with the Dhammakaya community?  What should I do with her?

8. What aspect of my grandmother’s merit caused me to want take a leave of absence from my studies to take care of her?  

What demerit caused her to have cancer in her lymph glands?  Where is she?  Did she receive the merit made on her behalf?  Does she have any message for me?

9. My lapse with my grandfather caused him to fall and hit his head on the floor, then die the following day.  Was this his demerit or is it my new demerit due to my inattentiveness?
What should I do to correct this demerit?

10. Where is my grandfather now?  Does he have a message for me?
I fully devoted myself to work at the temple while he was ill.  This meant that I did not take care of him as well as I took care of my grandmother.  Did I do the right thing?
Will my actions cause me to accumulate demerit?  What will be the result of my making merit on behalf of my grandfather?

11. Presently, I work as a welcome staffer at the temple’s main eating hall.  What merit will the team of welcome staffers accumulate?
Why do some people think all the food at the temple is delicious while others think the food is delicious but lose their appetite for the same food?  Is this because they accumulate merit differently?

12. How did I, my father, my mother, and my younger brother make merit with the Dhammakaya community?
What were the results of their Buddhist practice in their past lives?
What were their duties?
Will my younger brother have enough merit to ordain with the Dhammakaya community?

13. I have a close friend who has a similar personality to mine.  How did she make merit with the Dhammakaya community in the past?  What were her duties?

With great respect to Luang Phaw.

 

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

1.  Your aunt had lung cancer and a short life because in her past life when she was a man, she hunted animals. Once she hunted down and shot a bear.  It fled into a cave.  Your aunt lit a fire so the smoke would enter the cave and suffocate the bear.  The bear died in the cave. This demerit arose in her life.  When your father knocked on the coffin, she did not hear it because she was not there.

 

• She became an earth spirit at the common level.  She received the merit made on her behalf.  This improved her condition.  Later she used up her demerit and released her attachments.  She has been reborn as a human being.

• But she was not reborn as you.  You came from a much better place.

 

2.  The nurse saw your aunt’s face superimposed on the newborn baby.  She thought of this herself because she knew before the birth that your family wanted your aunt to be reborn.  

 

 

• Your family believed that your aunt had been reborn as you.  This is because in the past you believed in reincarnation.  But you always decided for yourself that this person was reborn as someone’s child or as someone’s grandchild. 
  

• This pattern of thinking followed you into your present life.

 

3.  Your grandparents had a relationship with you and your adopted sister.  Both of you were their children in the past, though you were not born as their children in the same lives. This made them love both of you as their own children, and raise both of you very well.

 

4.  You and your adopted sister were connected in a past life when you were cousins.  You were in constant competition with each other. For example, your adopted sister liked to speak insolently to others.  When her father, mother, and grandparent invited her to make merit, she always refused because she preferred to play around.

• Her habit of speaking insolently followed her into this life.  When you and she lived together with your grandparents, you competed for their love and argued with one another as a result. This demerit will cause you to be connected in conflict again.  If you meet again in a future life, you will dislike one another.  So you must give loving-kindness meditation often and the situation will gradually improve.

 

5.  The twin sisters had to be born as twins, were given up to others by their parents, and had to be separated from a very young age.  This is because in the past they were friends. The younger sister became pregnant and the father refused to admit that it was his child. Her friend gave the following advice: If you give birth, give up the child for others to raise. Because of this joint demerit, they were born together and had to be separated from one another at a young age.

 

• Their lives differ because the younger twin did not accumulate merit from caring for her parents and assisting her relatives.  So she had to be raised by others and have a difficult life. She is dead and she is a wandering spirit.  

 

• The older twin has merit from caring for her parents and assisting her relatives.  So she was able to live with your grandparents who raised her well.

 

6.   The older twin was imprisoned and achieved no success in her life.  This is because she associated with bad people and was deceitful in her past lives.  And in her present life she acted this way again. Moreover, she rarely makes merit because she is stingy.  Even when she made merit, she did not make merit with monks who fully maintained the precepts.  She also lacked the full intention to make merit.

 

• You had to visit her in the jail, even though you did not want to go.  This is because you had to perform your duty of showing kindness to your relatives.  The cause arises from your present life, not any demerit.

• She made merit with the Dhammakaya community as a supporter.  But long period passed between her merit-making periods with the community.  She has not made merit with the community for many Buddhist eras.

• You must be her kalayanamitra by having her learn about her own kamma.  You must tell her to correct her demerit quickly.

 

7.  You took a leave of absence from your studies to care for your grandmother because of your grandmother’s merit from taking good care of her parents in the past. This merit shows its results when you are sick.  You will have children and grandchildren take good care of you.

 

• Your grandmother had cancer of the lymph glands because in a past life she was born into an agricultural community.  She killed animals for food and regularly raised animals for slaughter.  Also, she stole her parents’ money for her own use.  This combined demerit arose in her present life.

• She became an angel and has a golden celestial palace in Tavatimsa (the second level of heaven) because of the merit she accumulated by making by offerings to the monks, keeping the precepts, and meditating as a Buddhist.  She made merit herself, brought her children and grandchildren to make merit, and received merit from her children and grandchildren.

• She received all the merit made on her behalf.  Now she has more celestial treasures.  She is very happy that she is in this place.

 

8.   Your lapse with your grandfather caused him to fall and hit his head on the floor, then die the following day.  This is due to his demerit from killing animals for food, for sale, and for snacks in past lives and his latest life.    

• You did not have the intention to let him fall so you did not accumulate demerit.  If you would like to feel better, make merit on his behalf often.

 

9.   Your grandfather was reborn as a human being already, due to the merit he earned from building the personal Buddha image and the merit made by others on his behalf.  This kept him from going to hell because of his alcohol consumption and cigarette smoking.

• Your devoted yourself to working at the temple and did not take care of your grandfather as well as your grandmother.  This is one form of merit that prevented him from going to hell.  You did a good thing and did not accumulate any demerit.

 

10.  You and the team work as welcome staffers at the temple’s main eating hall.  You will all accumulate merit in the form of long lives, attractive appearances, happiness, power, intelligence, devoted followers, and others. In any future life, you will be welcomed warmly at every place you go.

 

• Some people think the food at the temple is delicious.  Some people feel the food at the temple is not delicious and say they are bored with it.  This is something that requires working with both sides.

 

• The kitchen staff must make continual improvements.  The people who come to the temple must make themselves easier to please.  They should not become attached to the taste of the food.  They should adjust their palettes and their minds towards coming here to make merit.  They are not coming to a party or a fancy restaurant. Everyone’s mind will be clear.  The merit will accumulate to both sides.

11.  You, your father, your mother, and your younger brother makde merit with the Dhammakaya community before. You were a soldier of the king who ordained to become a monk.  You followed him to ordain for the rest of your life.  You were responsible for spreading Buddhism.  You had enough good results from your Buddhist practice to return to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven).

 

 

• Your father, mother, and younger brother were supporters.  Sometimes they made merit to the fullest degree.  Sometimes they did not.  It depended on their emotions.

• Your younger brother had enough merit to ordain with the Dhammakaya community for short and long periods. So in this life, he will be able to ordain.  Whether the ordination period is short or long depends on his willpower.

 

12. Your close friend that has a personality similar to yours has made merit with the community in the past.  In the last Buddhist era, she was a soldier of the king who became a monk.  She followed him to ordain for the rest of her life.  You were very close friends and both of you were womanizers.  So in this life you were both born as women.

 

 

• When you both ordained, you liked to chatter with each other so both of you had duties to spread Buddhism, even though you both engaged in idle talk.  But you both had good results from your meditation practice, enough to return to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven).

• In this life we meet again and diligently make all forms of merit to the fullest degree.  Make the resolution that when you pass away we will all go to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven) together.  Let us not miss each other.

 

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