Recipe for Romance: Delivering Food with Love

He was the second of 11 children. When he was born, he had abscesses on his head. He almost did not survive. His mother was very sick after delivering him. So his father had his maternal grandmother raise him from infancy until he was grown.

Dhamma Articles > Case studies
[ Feb 14th, 2006 ] - [ read : 15535 ]
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Recipe for Romance: Delivering Food with Love

With great respect for Luang Phaw.

I am a good student of the Dream in Dream Kindergarten.  I also have a special responsibility as the Vice-President of the students of Dream in Dream Kindergarten.  During my entire time in this position, I have been very happy performing my duties.

But I have a dark concern and only Luang Phaw can help with this matter.  
Today I would like to respectfully ask Luang Phaw to compassionately shine brightness on this difficulty in my life so that it will disappear.  This will be for my benefit to make merit in following the Lord Buddha and for spreading the Dhamma to Dream in Dream students around the world.  My story is as follows.

My maternal grandfather was from mainland China.  He immigrated to Ayutthaya Province in Thailand.  He was a merchant and worked industriously.  He was kind and like to help his neighbors.  If any household organized an ordination ceremony or marriage, he would help to cook for the event.
If the household had someone pass away, he would help prepare the body for cremation, wrapping it and bringing it for cremation at the temple.  He did not show any aversion to this work and accepted no money for it because he was happy to perform these tasks for anyone.  But he was a regular and heavy drinker of alcohol.  He died from a stroke when he was more than 60 years old.

My maternal grandmother was from the ancient city of Ayutthaya.  She was lucky to have married my grandfather because after they married, he saw that she was quite weak.  So he had her stay at home without working.  She did not need to do anything.  My grandfather was happy to perform all the house work: sweeping, mopping, cooking, and raising the children.

But she unexpectedly died in her sleep when she was 50.  They had 6 children together.  My mother was the second child.  Of the 6 children, my mother was the main worker and source of income for the household.
When she was young, she sold food at a railway station in Ayutthaya.  One day while my mother was selling food there, she happened to see a tall, slender young man.

He was dressed in a railway worker’s uniform.  It seemed like he had just started working at that station because my mother had never seen his face before.  He stepped down from a train car holding an old bag for his clothing in one hand.  From the first time he met my mother, he had the feeling that “This girl, why is she so pitiful?”

When this man looked into my mother’s eyes, he felt very attracted to her.  He asked himself “Why do I feel so connected with this woman?  It’s strange.”  Many days later while this young man was having a meal at a restaurant very near to my mother restaurant, my mother walked past him and greeted him by asking “Would you like something to drink?”

This was their first contact.  It made them get to know one another as time passed.  When he found out that she sold food at that station, he hired her to make a meal box for him every morning and evening.  The main items she prepared were soup and sautéed vegetables.

My mother did not see anything difficult about preparing these meal boxes so she made them continually for days, then months, then years.  He never became bored with the menu.  In fact, he thought it tasted better every day.  His heart succumbed to the delicious taste until he had to tell my mother he loved her.
After careful consideration, my mother found that he was a good man.  He did not drink alcohol, he did not womanize, and he did not gamble.  So she accepted his love and they nurtured their love and care for one another very well.

But the long road towards love is not smooth.  The government ordered him to be transferred to Sam Sen train station in Bangkok.  
This event made my mother feel they were very distant from one another until she wanted to put on wings and fly to be with him.  
After he moved, they wrote many letters to one another expressing their undying love.  Until the last letter

When he decided to take the train from Sam Sen to Ayutthaya to ask her hand in marriage.  This man is my father.
My father is a Thai with Chinese ancestry.  He was born in Phrapradaeng District in Samut Prakarn Province.

He was the second of 11 children.  When he was born, he had abscesses on his head.  He almost did not survive. His mother was very sick after delivering him. So his father had his maternal grandmother raise him from infancy until he was grown. He attended the Bangkok Technical College of the Rajamangala Institute of Technology.

After his hard work studying, he graduated.  He applied to enter the Navy.  He served in the Royal Thai Navy at Sattahip for 2 years.
After this, he became a civil servant at the State Railway Authority of Thailand until his retirement. Before his retirement, he was strong.  He enjoyed jogging, boxing, and weight lifting. But after his retirement, he would become faint and lose consciousness.  His legs grew numb and weak.  But he still exercised as much as his body would allow.  He is still living.

I am an only child.  My life has been very comfortable because nobody took away my possessions or competed for my parents’ love.
But I felt lonely.  Sometimes when I had personal problems, I could not consult any siblings for advice.  Although I received a lot of love from my parents.  But before I grew up to maturity, I almost died many times.  
From the beginning, my birth was difficult.  The doctor had to use forceps to pull me out.  This left an indentation in one side of my skull.

When I was only a few years old, I had roseola.  Later, I had whooping cough.  I coughed until the capillaries in my eyes burst.  I once had an accident where I almost drowned.

Currently, I am allergic to mold, dust mites, and changes in temperature.  
On days when the weather changes, my nose itches and my chest tightens until I cannot breathe.  Phlegm continually enters my throat and it affects my voice, making me sound like I have a cold.  It makes my voice raspy.  

In 1986 when I was in seventh grade, I came to Wat Phra Dhammakaya for the first time when a teacher took me here.  I meditated and felt very happy.  From that time, I came regularly to the temple.

When I was in my first and second years of university, I started to become distant from the temple.  I drank alcohol and went out to nightclubs.  I also had many men flirt with me.
But my heart was locked and I did not open it to anyone.
  During my third year, I went back to the temple again.  After graduating, I decided to devote myself to be a laywoman at the temple.
I had to say goodbye to the many men who wanted to be my boyfriend because my heart only had Luang Phaw.
Since then, I have been at the temple for almost 10 years.  
The relationship has developed and grown deeper until I have come to love the Dhammakaya community, the laywomen sisters, and everything that has been built up to be Wat Phra Dhammakaya.  I would like to devote the rest of my life to making merit until I breathe my last breath.  

1. Recipe for Romance: Delivering FoodWhere are my maternal grandparents?  Did they receive the merit that my mother made on their behalf?  Do they have any message for their children and grandchildren?

2. What demerit caused my father to be born with major abscesses on his head and almost die?  Why was he not able to live with his real parents?  What demerit caused his grandmother to have to raise my father since infancy?

3.My great grandmother passed away from old age when she was 99.  Where is she?  What were her circumstances after her death?  Did she receive the merit that my father made on her behalf?

4. Will people who are soulmates become instantly attracted to one another as my parents did?  If they are soulmates according to their kamma, is it a good or bad thing that they wished to be together in the future?

5. Why was I born an only child?  If I want to have siblings in future lives, what should I do?  Why are some people born as only children?

6. What demerit caused me to have a difficult birth, to have my head squeezed until one side became indented?  What demerit caused me to have roseola and whooping cough until the capillaries in my eyes burst?  What demerit caused me to almost drown?  What demerit caused me to have allergies?  Will I have the chance to be cured of my allergies?  What can I do about them?

7. One of my close friends had the same allergies as me for 10 years.  What demerit caused my friend to have these allergies?  Why did my friend recover from these allergies without requiring any treatment?

Why are the two of us friends and always been each other’s kalayanamitra?  How did my friend make merit with the Dhammakaya community.  What were the results of my friend’s Buddhist practice?

8. From my work as an announcer and reading the Tripitaka, I am wondering about something: why were there some people who were known by the Lord Buddha through his meditation to need to make merit?  This allowed these people to receive the ultimate merit from making merit directly with the Lord Buddha.  What merit did they already have that enabled the Lord Buddha aware of them?

What was the reason these people came into the field of the Lord Buddha’s awareness?  Was it because of the great compassion of the Lord Buddha or because of the merit they had accumulated?

9. We are not living in a time when we can meet the Lord Buddha.  What can we do to receive the ultimate merit as though we had made merit with the Lord Buddha?  Why has the good result of the ultimate merit not arisen in the present?

10. How did me and my parents make merit together?  Do we all have enough merit to return to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven)?  Will our celestial palaces be near to one another?

11. What merit caused me to have a good voice and be able to serve as an announcer?  What merit caused me to be the vice-president of the students, not what I expected?

12. In my last life, how did I make merit with the Dhammakaya community?  Do I have any demerit that will reduce my ability to make merit?  Did this pattern from my past life follow me into my present life?  What can I do to protect myself and be free of this demerit?

Have I ever ordained in my past lives?  What was the result of my Buddhist practice?  Have I accumulated enough merit to be born a second time in this Buddhist era?  In my next life, do I have enough merit to be born as a man?

With great respect to Luang Phaw.

Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

1.    Your grandfather died and became a handsome angel with golden skin in the Naga zone of Catummaharajika (the lowest level of heaven).  This is due to the traditional Buddhist merit he made and from helping his neighbors.  
  • He received the merit made on his behalf.  This gave him additional celestial treasures.  He is thankful for the merit you made.  Due to his demerit from drinking alcohol, he can only attain the first level of heaven.
  • Your grandmother died and was reborn as a human being.  She is a woman in a middle-class family, due to the merit she earned herself and the merit made on her behalf. 
  • Unfortunately, a person reborn as a human being can no longer receive merit made by others.
2.    Your father was born with major abscesses on his head and almost died. He was not able to live with his real parents and had to be raised by your great grandmother.  This is because in the past he struck one of his enemies on the head and almost caused this person’s death.  This demerit produced the large abscesses on his head.  
  • Your great grandmother was your father’s mother in many past lives.  When she made merit, she wished to they would be mother and son in future lives.But in this life he was her grandchild.  So she raised him with love.
  • Your father did not live with his parents because of his merit with his grandmother.  He did not have any merit connecting him with his parents.
3.    Your great grandmother died of old age when she was 99.  She became an earth spirit in an earth spirit village. She received the merit made on her behalf.  This made her younger and more beautiful.  She had celestial clothing, food, and a beautiful house as a result.
  • She was very happy that her children and grandchildren made merit on her behalf.  She understands much more about merit and demerit now.
4.    Your parents were instantly attracted to one another because they were married in continuous past lives. They made merit together and wished that they would be a couple in their future lives. So when they met again for the first time, they both thought “That’s the one”.  
  • As for wishing to be husband and wife again in future lives: If they have the same level of faith, morals, and conviction that they had in their past lives, or are like a Bodhisattva, they will get the desired result. 
  • But they may lack equal faith, morals, conviction and wish to be husband and wife in their future lives.
    In this situation, if one of them has demerit, that one will become an animal.  This is like the Queen Malika who met her husband from a past life as a dog in her present life.  There is a reason why they became husband and wife again in that way.  So she had to spend 7 days in hell as a result.
5.    You are an only child because you wished to be born this way.
In a past life, you were a man with many siblings.  And you had problems with your siblings, even when you ordained as a monk.  So you were tired of them and wished to be born an only child.
  • Children are born without siblings for two major reasons: 1) they wish to be born as only children; 2) they like to make merit by themselves, not with others.
6.    You had a difficult birth, had your head squeezed until one side became indented, had roseola, contracted whooping cough until the capillaries in your eyes burst, almost drowned, and have allergies.
  • This is because in the last Buddhist era, you were a soldier of the king who became a monk.  Your tortured your enemies in many ways; for example, you dunked their heads in water.  This made you have allergies and almost drown.  You also beat your enemies.  This caused you to have your head squeezed and to have a difficult birth.
  • Sometimes you used insulting language with your enemies.  This made you have whooping cough until the capillaries in your eyes burst.  Presently you only have light demerit remaining.  To correct this, you must make all forms of merit: make offerings, keep the precepts, meditate until you can reach the inner Buddha, release animals and fish, and make loving-kindness towards those beings you exploited in your past.

7.   Your close friend had allergies for more than 10 years because she was your close soldier friend in the last Buddhist era.  She was also a soldier of the king who became a monk. When you captured an enemy, you helped each other dunk the enemy’s head under water.  But she did this less than you.  So her demerit declined until it disappeared.
  • She followed the king and ordained for the rest of her life.  She had responsibility for spreading Buddhism.  She had good results from her Buddhist practice and returned to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven). But she had light demerit from being a womanizer.  In that life, she was a young, handsome soldier who had many women attracted to him.  In this life, she was born as a woman.
8.    Those who had the merit to be in the field of the Lord Buddha’s awareness had the opportunity to make merit with the Lord Buddha.  This is the ultimate merit.  This occurred because these people made merit in Buddhism and wished that they could make merit with the Lord Buddha in his human form.  
When this merit arises, it brings them into the field of the Lord Buddha’s awareness.

  • Those people who entered into the field of the Lord Buddha’s awareness were of two types: those who made merit and wished as just described; and those who benefited from the Lord Buddha’s kindness to teach them wherever they happened to be.
9.    We are not born to meet the Lord Buddha and to make the ultimate merit with him.  We must perform the Vijja meticulously to defeat the Maras(the evil one) so the Maras cannot block our path to merit.  So in this way you will receive the ultimate merit.
  • But if the Maras(the evil one) can block your path to merit because they are more thorough than you, the ultimate merit will not arise.
10.    You and your parents made merit together.  Your parents were supporters of the Dhammakaya community and knew you when you were a monk in the community.  So you are connected by merit.  Your parents were your caregivers when you were a monk and wished that they would become your parents.
  • As for returning to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven), this depends on your actions in your present lives.  You must all make merit to the fullest degree.
11.    You are an announcer, have a beautiful voice, and became the vice-president of the student of the Dream in Dream Kindergarten unexpectedly.  This is the result of your merit from preaching the Dhamma to people when you were a monk.

  • You always wished to have a beautiful voice and become a leader of people in the study of Buddhism, like the President of the students of the Dream in Dream Kindergarten.  
  • You wished in the past but your wish was not as strong as the President’s.  So you became the vice-president in this life but this is what you had thought about in the past.
12.    You made merit with the Dhammakaya community in the last Buddhist era as a soldier of the king who became a monk.  You followed the king to ordain for the rest of your life.  You were responsible for preaching Dhamma.  As a result of your Buddhist practice, you were able to return to Tusita.
  • You had demerit from womanizing so you became a woman in this life.  In the last Buddhist era, you were a preacher and liked to teach people.  So you did not meditate a lot.  So you were born as a human being only once in that era.
  • So in this life you must correct this demerit by meditating in this life until you reach the inner Buddha image, until you can study Vijja Dhammakaya.  So you will be able to return as a human being for a second time in the current Buddhist era.   
  • If you are determined purify yourself by keeping the 8 precepts for the rest of your life and meditate until you reach the inner Buddha image, you can change the pattern of your next life so that you will be born as a man and can ordain.

  • In this life we meet again and diligently make all forms of merit to the fullest degree.  Make the resolution that when you pass away we will all go to Tusita (the fourth level of heaven) together.  Let us not miss each other.

Case study in real life

The Law of Kamma (Pali:Compared to "Karma" in Sanskrit) segment or "Case Study" is one of the prominent sections on the Dream in Dream kindergarten program, conducted by the Venerable Phrarajbhavanavisudh, also known as, Luang Phaw Dhammajayo of the Dhammakaya Temple in Pathum Thani Province, Thailand.

Each individualized "Case Study" is based on the timeless Law of Kamma (the Law of Cause and Effect) which examines the reasons for many situations and complex inter-relationships people find themselves in. Viewers from around the world write personal letters to Luang Phaw wanting to understand the karmic reasons for many special circumstances in their life.

This program is not intended to convert anyone to Buddhism or any other religions persuasion. Rather the goal is to help spread genuine peace, happiness and understanding here in Thailand and around the world. By first discovering and cultivating inner peace within ourselves through meditation, we can help spread love and kindness outward, helping to make our world a better place for everyone.


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