With False Friends, who needs enemies?

Meditation

Meditation for Beginners

 

With False Friends, who needs enemies?

 

The point where we start to associate with them is the point when we take them on.

 

The word ‘friend’ here refers to people in whom we invest time, trust and resources. It means not only our ‘buddies’ but also includes all relatives, colleagues, teachers and employees in whom we make such investments.

 

When we accept someone as a friend, we start to ‘associate’ with them specifically by three sorts of investment: joining, receiving, and giving:

 

- Joining means eating, sleeping and investing together.

- Receiving means taking someone on as one’s spouse, one’s child, one’s employee or as one’s extended family. The point where we start to associate with them is the point when we take them on.

- Giving means that after joining them and taking them on, we give to them. Such giving includes giving them honour, praise, encouragement, lodging, food and payment.

 

The word ‘friend’ here refers to people in whom we invest time

 

All of these are included in the definition of association. If the person one associates with is a false friend, interaction on any of these three levels will bring danger into your life. In case we are put into contact with those who we know to be false friends, and are unable to avoid it, we have to come into contact with them without their bad habits rubbing off on us by ‘interaction without transaction’.

 

If Mr. A accompanies Mr. B in all activities, Mr. A becomes an environment to Mr. Buntil eventually Mr. B will absorb Mr. A’s thoughts and values. If a person doesn’t know how to recognize a false friend or doesn’t know how to protect himself by interaction without transaction, the worst of their companion’s habits will rub off on them. When that is the case, it is pointed out that that person, too, will be ready to commit the same behavior patterns which can lead him to  deterioration. He will come to lack the four target character traits. For such behavior patterns, if they are illegal, the person who possesses them could be arrested and sentenced according to the laws. If they are merely immoral, the person could be condemned and despised by others in society.

 

As one can see now, making friends with false friends always leads to ruin.

 

Although some behaviours leading to Six Roads to Ruin may not be illegal, the slippery slope of the Six Roads to Ruin will eventually lead to illegal or antisocial actions. One example is a false friend asking one to go for a drink with them-quite a common request in society. However, if one drinks so much that he loses his consciousness, he could do something he will regret for the rest of his life. He could get hurt or lose his life, or at the very least he must pay for the damages and the lost ‘no-claims bonus’ which put the victim in serious debt. As one can see now, making friends with false friends always leads to ruin. For all the reasons above, this is why the Lord Buddha taught that making friends with false friends in the most disasterous of all mistakes.

 

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