Social Disaster : 4. The Relationship between Friends

Meditation

Meditation for Beginners

 

Social Disaster : 4. The Relationship between Friends

 

 

The Relationship between Friends

 

If a person does not cherish his or her friends according to the duties described in the Six Directions, the harm that will come to them can be concluded on three levels.

 

Loss of Respect for one’s own Human Dignity

 

If friends lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil their duties to wards one another as prescribed by the Six Directions, the first level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for their own human dignity-this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms:

 

- Developing seriously erroneous core valves: Positive core values should have been taught to people since the time when they were young, by their parents. If their parents omitted to do this duty properly, their mind will fail to be  ‘immunized’ from ethical mistakes because of their lack of conscience. Erroneous core values will find a foothold in the mind. Even though their parents have not managed to educate them in core values, there is no hope for these children pick up anything positive. The vulnerableness of the mind to negative temptation will be reflected in delinquent behaviour and low school grades. Those who have good grades, lacking conscience, will use their knowledge in the wrong way. Children with erroneous core values, in whichever way, will always have problems. When they grow up, they tend to follow the advice their friends instead of their parents and teachers. The only reason they might listen to their parents is because they still get paid pocket money by them. The only reason they may listen to their teachers is because they don’t want to be thrown out of the class. Children of this age, however, will hang around together in groups of common interest, habits and beliefs. Children with problems will gravitate towards group with similar problems. They tend not to have good or true friends. When they hang around together more and more, they transfer the traits of false friends to each other more and more. These finally become their dominant traits-and when they become adults and these habits are ready to brush off on others surrounding them, such as their colleagues, cousins, subordinates, spouses, employees, and children. When they start working, they have opportunity to meet new friends. These new friends may be different in character and some of them might be false friends. Persons who acquire the characteristics of false friends, when meeting new friends, who are Good Friends [kalyanamitta], may change and become kalyanamitta too. If so, their lives can be reversed just like criminals who have a change of heart and try to turn their lives around. However, if they don’t have the opportunity to meet kalyanamitta, but have only false friends, they may become even worse. Their erroneous core values will become even more engrained. Some may become shameless about unscrupulous behaviour.

 

 

Erroneous core values will find a foothold in the mind.

 

- Unwholesome speech: Those who lack conscience will have seriously erroneous false views. When speaking to others, they will have no respect for the truth but only for their own interests. They say anything that is the easy way out, to achieve what they desire. Their words, therefore, will be sly, changing, lying, insulting, divisive, hypocritical and makicious-as yet another contribution to that person’s immorality;

 

- Immoral livelihood: The wrongdoings of those with erroneous core values will not stop short at unwholesome speech, their actions too will be corrupted, immoral and illegal-as often as they can find the opportunity. Some of them act like a gangsters, assaulting people they do not like. Some demand protection money from businesses in the neighbourhood. Some of them kidnap for ransom. If they do not receive the ransom they kill the hostage. Some of them become a progessional assassins. Some plan to kill industrial competitors. Some set up a company with a printer out front but counterfeit bank notes and official documents via the back door. Some set up an export company, doing no business but manipulating documents for value-added tax returns. Some set up a company to deceive people who want to work abroad. Some civil servants demand bribes. Some of these embezzle money and are corrupt in their duties. Some men are playbous and are unfaithful to their wives. Some women are willing to be mistresses for money. Some men are involved in child abuse or necrophilia. Many college students engage in prostitution as a sideline because they can set themselves up in life quickly without having to borrow money. Some mothers sell their daughters to immoral rich men. Such scandal has been commonplace in countries such as Thailand for many years.

Loss of respect for Others’Human Dignity

 

If friends lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the duties to wards one another prescribed by the Six Directions, the second level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for the human dignity of others this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms:

 

- They become biased: Even though countries like Thailand are supposed to be a Buddhist society, people of all walks of life do exactly the opposite of what the Buddha taught and suffer heavily from bias. This is because people in all six of the most obvious behaviours of people with bias is favoritism. Those in senior positions might have double standards. Not only does this bring inequality to the society, but also hinders any efforts to improve the country for the better. People who can offer much to society, although intend to work with integrity, can do nothing because they don’t have the right connections to empower themselves;

 

 

Loss of Respect for one’s own Human Dignity

 

-Engaging in mudslinging: Biased people cause social fragmentation and disharmony. False friends can flock together if it suits their personal interests. If there is a conflict of interest in the conspiring partners, they avenge themselves through the media. The losers blame the other side to make public believe that they are good and the others bad. The blamed try to unearth the mistakes of the other side. In brief, true friends cannot be found among biased people. Once conflict erupts, one side blames the other and tries to convince the others of their innocence despite the fact that in reality both are as bad as each other.

 

- Assaulting one another: Blaming one another goes no worse than insults-however, if the conflict worsens, ‘so-called’ friends may physically assault each other despite formerly being close, living under the same roof, or having weathered bad times and good together in times past. Assault comes in many forms however, ultimately it has the common aim of damaging the life or property of the opponent.

 

- Beating, kicking, punching or even killing one another;

 

- Setting fire to the opponent’s house;

 

- Hiring a professional assassin;

 

- Kidnapping the opponent’s children or wife;

 

- Poisoning the opponent;

 

- Distributing a mudslinging leaflet to damage the opponent’s reputation;

 

All these are the behaviours of people who formerly were able to share society civilly with one another.

 

 

This is a true indicator of erroneous core values and is difficult to correct.

 

Loss of Respect for Economic Fairness

 

If friends lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the duties to wards one another prescribed by the Six Directions, the third wards one another prescribed by the Six Directions, the third level of disaster which will happen to them is that they will lose their sense of responsibility for economic fairness in society at large this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms:

 

- They become biased: Even though countries like Thailand are supposed to be a Buddhist society. People of all walks of life do exactly the opposite of what the Buddha taught and suffer heavily from bias. This is because people in all six of the social groupings are not aware of their duties. One of the most obvious behaviours of people with bias is favoritism. Those in senior positions might have double standards. Not only does this bring inequality to the society, but also hinders any efforts to improve the country for the better. People who can offer much to society, although intend to work with integrity, can do nothing because they don’t have the right connections to empower themselves;

 

- Engaging in mudslinging: Biased people cause social fragmentation and disharmony. False friends can flock together if it suits their personal interests. If there is a conflict of interest in the conspiring partners, they avenge themselves through the media. The losers blame the other side to make public believe that they are good and the others bad. The blamed try to cover up by blaming the other side. At the same, they try to unearth the mistakes of the other side. In brief, true friends cannot side blames the other and tries to convince the others of their innocence despite the fact that in reality both are as bad as each other.

 

- Assaulting one another: Blaming one another goes no worse than insults-however, if the conflict worsens, ‘so-called’ friends may physically assault each other despite formerly being close, living under the same roof, or having weathered bad times and good together in times past. Assault comes in many forms – however, ultimately it has the common aim of damaging the life or property of the opponent.

 

- Beating, kicking, punching or even killing one another;

 

- Setting fire to the opponent’s house;

 

- Bombing the opponent’s house or office;

 

- hiring a professional assassin;

 

- kidnapping the opponent’s children or wife;

 

- Poisoning the opponent;

 

- Distributing a mudslinging leaflet to damage the opponent’s reputation;

 

All these are the behaviours of people who formerly were able to share society civilly with one another.

 

 

In the short term are to avoid voting those with the character traits of ‘false friends’ into positions of authority

 

Loss of Respect for Economic Fairness

 

If friends lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the duties to –wards one another prescribed by the Six Directions, the third level of disaster which will happen to them in that they will lose their sense of responsibility for economic fairness in society at large-this loss giving rise (at the minimum) to the following three undesirable symptoms:

 

- Welcoming the Roads to Ruin: Those whose minds are vulnerable to temptation, because of not having been taught enough by the parents and teachers, as well as not having any spiritual knowledge from spiritual mentors, may be involved in Roads to Ruin from an early age. If classmates or friends from the same school are not good Friends to them, to lead them out of the vicious circle of erroneous core values, they become addicted to them. When they grow up and start working, they will still enjoy the Roads to Ruin and overlook their dangers. They will see nothing more than the fun of indulgence. This is a true indicator of erroneous core values and is difficult to correct.

 

- Advertising the marits of the Roads to Ruin: Although the Roads to Ruin have brought devastation to people of every age, most believe they are not entirely bad. They believe some parts of them are still good and try to propagate it further. They suggest that a certain amount of drinking makes one bold (Dutch courage). They claim that drinking is also sociable, quenches sorrow, and brings happiness, just like the advertising for a certain beer which claims it is the ‘happiness you can drink’. In spite of the fact that amphetamines causes brain damage, it is claimed that once it is taken it keeps the mind alert-one will have no drowsiness and will be able to work all day or help students to study for their examinations all night. Only in the present day, perhaps, can we start to appreciate how severely it is damaging society. As for gambling, although make the loser suffers and is sometimes relegated to bankruptcy, the message emphasizes the lucky day when the gambler may become rich and free from debt. It can be said that misunderstanding is also an erroneous core value. It makes many people falsely believe that the Roads of Ruin and their propagation bring something other than danger in the blind hope that it will bring some benefit to society. Involvement in Roads to Ruin: Those who get involve in Roads to Ruin can be divided into two kinds: the consumer and the manufacturer. In terms of erroneous core values. Both are equally bad. However, in terms of economics, the former ruins only his own wealth and helps to undermine the fair economy. The latter, although rich, will destroy both economy and the morals of those in the same society.

 

 

Unwholesome speech: Those who lack conscience will have seriously erroneous false views.

 

Loss of Respect for the Environment

 

When people lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the minimal responsibilities to their friends as prescribed by the Six Directions, the fourth sign of harm will be that they will lack any sense of responsibility to the Six Directions and to the natural environment –this being expressed in two main ways by the person’s behaviour.

 

- Lacking responsibility for their duties in the Six Directions: especially lacking a good interaction with the social groups in each of the Six Directions, will misbehave in at least three ways:

 

- Lack of respect for others: Those who have had bad experiences from false friends when they were young or as adults will have negative attitudes not only against their false friends, but to everyone else as well. The bad behaviours of untrue friends are many, but only one bad experience can make one bitter as if no true friend existed in the world – and as a consequence have no respect for others. They don’t look for goodness in others any more. They look only for faults, even in those who have helped and been kind to them in the past. Persons who do not see any goodness in others, finally become self-centered. They think highly of themselves and look down on others. This kind of erroneous core values will eventually cause them to behave immorally.

 

- Inconsiderate speech: Because they have no respect bluntly, never showing any respect to anyone. They say anything that comes into their head, never thinking things through before saying them, Such speech might make them enemies and bring them trouble at a later date. They like to answer back, embarrass people, criticize people in front of others, insult people, make fun of them, making others feel inferior, and making it worse when others make mistakes. At the same time they so often praise themselves that boasting becomes a habit;

 

- Becoming False Friends: Although they may be disgusted with the evil habits of false friends, this doesn’t mean that they do not have such habits themselves. Given the opportunity, the part of them which is a False Friend will show through. They may take advantage of their friends, meddle in their colleagues’ duties, competing with their rivals by revealing their ‘sore spots’, using legal loopholes to claim the belongings of others, and on a national level, privatizing natural resources such as land. Nearest and dearest, even they have been through bad times together, they would even go so far as to betray them. In conclusion, this type of persons has no mercy or trust towards others. These immoral behaviors primarily stem from having friends with erroneous core values. False friend’s characteristics seriously impede enhancement in life.

 

- Lacking responsibility for the natural environment: lacking responsibility for the natural environment may cause friends to misbehave in at least three ways:

 

 

The only reason they may listen to their teachers is because they don’t want to be thrown out of the class.

 

- Selfishness and shoddy thinking: People have long talked about how important the environment is but the degradation of the environment goes on unabated, because most of the perpetrators of environmental damage are too selfish and shoddy in their thinking to be swayed by any environment preservation programme. We can surmise that such thinking is an indicator that these people are false friends to the environment. Amongst the people in society who are true friends, there are not enough courageous leaders to build a network of good men to prevent the unscrupulous from dominating society. Also, good people, for all their noble principles as true friends may not fully succeed in every issue – just like children raised in a family that has very good parents. Some of them in almost every family turn evil. Even the Lord Buddha  admitted that there are three kinds of children. Therefore, there in no way that our world is going to become completely free of those with erroneous core values. Finally, most good people tend to isolate themselves. They feel awkward to show their virtue openly. They prefer to withdraw from society. In fact, so doing does not contribute much to making society a better place. This is because the shoddy minded and selfish people set the world alight with every passing breath.

 

- Full of empty promises: Nearly everyone in society needs to be recruited to help preserve the environment. When at home, everyone says ‘I like cleanliness’-but when we pass through public places in cities, small and big communities, what we always see is dirt in every market, trash and stagnant water is everywhere, at every junction litter blows around in heaps. The back alleys are full of trash. Some are piled up awaiting the dogs that will come and pock through it, because there are no refuse trucks to collect it up. Cars belch out black fumes, contaminating the air and though illegal, such cars fill the street. Other cars stay away from them because no one wants to get close to them. No-one seems to enforce the necessary laws. Thus, asked why our country still is dirty, the answer is , that most people are shoddy-minded and selfish and officials only talk about enforcement without taking action.

 

- Full of empty promises: Even issues of cleanliness in the community, which is closer to people’s awareness and has specific officials responsible for it, fails to be closely followed up and inspected. Thus, it can surely be no more than a ‘pope dream’ to think to conserve the global environment, such as invaluable natural resources, saving them from the exploitation of the selfish and shoddy-minded. Whether it be landslides that always happen in sloping arenas where deforestation has left no more tree roots to grasp the earth or any form of contamination, we cannot solve the environmental problem for as long as there are still people who are shoddy – minded and selfish, we cannot solve the problems of deforestation. Those who destroy the forests are mostly poor – and in principle, if we can solve the poverty problem, deforestation should also vanish. However, there are two kinds of the poor those who are poor because they have nothing and those who are poor because they never have enough. Solving poverty of the former type can succeed without much difficulty if the government is serious about it. If successful, deforestation would disappear because the perpetrators would have enough money. Solving the problems of the latter type, however, calls for the question of ‘who’ and ‘how’ . As long as good people cannot join hands to build up, expand, and strengthen a network of good men sufficiently to overcome the dark power of bad men and false friends, deforestation will continue until no forest is left. Once that time comes, the word ‘peaceful society’ might become only an ancient term that is impossible for anyone to understand. This is because all people in the society suffer with every passing breath. They cannot imagine how peace can come about in this world. Just like people who are religious in their birth certificate but who doubt the very fundamentals of their own religion.

 

 

Some demand protection money from businesses in the neighbourhood.

 

Summary of Social Problems Caused

 

The problems of the northern quarter can be summarized down to two main points:

 

Manifest social problems: In countries such as Thailand, social problems which are out of hand are high-level corruption, partiality of the legal system, degeneration into vice and widespread prostitution;

 

Covert social problems: The covert social problems exist in the form of False Friends in positions of influence-whether if be positions in politics, the civil service or public utilities who have less than scrupulous behaviour. Unfortunately in the public eye such figures have an image of respectability and chivalry but this often belies illicit dealings behind the scenes. Such false friendship has its origins in undisci-plined parental upbringing, undisciplined schooling and eventually, having become a fool, seeking the company of other fools is the final nail in the coffin of true friendship.

 

Possible solutions to these problems are:

 

In the short term are to avoid voting those with the character traits of ‘false friends’ into positions of authority;

 

In the long term are to use the nets of ‘sixteen characteristics of true friends’ and sixteen characteristics of false friends’ to identify and replacing the weaknesses in yourself with virtues starting with yourself-associating with the wise so that their good virtues can rub off on you too.

 

 

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