4. The Relationship Between Friends

Meditation

Meditation for Beginners

 

4. The Relationship Between Friends

 

 

Helping and acting for their welfare: endowed with the characteristics of a True Friend

 

The fourth and most important factor influencing social development is the quality of the relationship between friends. elopement is the relationship between friends. Many of the responsibilities of one friend to another can be extrapolated to give guidance for the relationship between a government and its citizens.

 

One friend’s responsibility to another

 

The Buddha laid down five examples of duties we ought to practice in order to express our responsibility towards our friends:

 

1.Generosity: anyone possessed of Right View [sammaditthi] is bound to moved to compassion when seeing others experiencing hardship or suffering – and generosity is the way in which he can ameliorate the lot of friends caught in which he can ameliorate the lot of friends caught in such a situation, while at the same time strengthening his bond of friendship to that person;

 

2. Kind words: if a person is able to relinquish the Four Defilements of Action, and has the altruism of a Good Friend [kalyanamitta] he will be of the habit of speaking only words that are polite and true;

 

 

Not abandoning us in times of trouble

 

3. Helping and acting for their welfare: endowed with the characteristics of a True Friend, one will have the altruism to do things for the benefit of one’s friends;

 

4.Being consistent: one treats one’s friends consistently well no mater whether one’s circumstances change for better or for worse. Just because one gets a promotion in rank which is better than that of one’s old friend, one should not subsequently look down on him. In the case of government, instead of asking, as a citizen, what you have received from the government, having paid one’s ability (especially if you are a civil servant) no matter how good a job you think the government is making of running the country;

 

5. Never telling them lies: having relinquished the fourteen sorts of evil behaviour (the Defilements of Action, Bias and the Roads to Ruin) what one says will never deviate from the truth.

 

It is only possible to fulfil the demands of these five duties if one has already had the qualities of a true friend instilled by quality reciprocal relationships with one’s parents, teachers and spouse.

 

Duties friends ought to practice in return

 

 

 Protect us when we are off our guard

 

The Buddha laid down five examples of duties friends ought to practice in order to express responsibility towards us Responsible friends should:

 

1. Protect us when we are off our guard: learning that we are in the midst of problems as a result of our own recklessness, if it happens that such recklessness is not in our nature, if a friend is true, they will intervene  and help-if they leave us to our recklessness you can know that they are an enemy in a friend’s guise. In the case of the government, if they see that the citizens are becoming reckless, they might need to issue warnings or legislate new laws to protect the people (especially if damage is occurring to the economy);

 

2. Help protect our property even when we neglect it: such is the behaviour of a true friend;

 

3. Be our refuge in times of danger: willingness to let us rely on them is the sign of a true friend. For the government, this would imply providing a safety net of social security;

 

4. Not abandoning us in times of trouble: this is the sign of a Good Friend [kalyanamitta];

 

5. Show due respect to other members of our family: friends who not only show us respect, but also respect those to whom we have debts of gratitude (e.g. our children and grandchildren) as if they were part of their own family-are indeed responsible friends.

 

 

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