Social Disaster : 1. The Parent-Child Relationship

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Social Disaster : 1. The Parent-Child Relationship

Erroneous Core Values: They would be possessive

 

The catastrophe brought to society by parental neglect can be enlarged ad follows:

 

Loss of Respect for One’s own Human Dignity

 

When parents lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the minimal responsibilities to their children in keeping with the Six Directions, the first signs of harm will be that their children lack any sense of respect for their own human dignity this being expressed in four different ways by the child’s behaviour:

 

- Erroneous Core Values: They would be possessive and not share anything with anyone even with their brothers and sisters. They will be incapable of distinguishing between good and behaviours. They will have no sense of indebtedness to their parents and will have no conscience about doing unscrupulous things. They will not hear out well-intended cautions and they will care neither about their studies or any sort of aim in life. They will have no idea that we were born to work on ourselves spiritually-and they will eventually refuse the validity of any kind of goodness that a person should have, and as a result no-one will have any sympathy for them any more, even from an early age.

 

 

Loss of Respect for Economic Fairness

- Unwholesome speech: Erroneous core values cause us to express unwholesome intentions in the form of lying, insults, sarcasm, and divisiveness to strangers and loved ones alike. The only positive things tend to be said about themselves, while blame for all problems is put on others. Any family where the children pick up the unwholesome speech habit will never be free of quarrels. Besides speech habit will never be free of quarrels, Besides lacking unity in their own household, they will eventually start picking fights with neighbours too!

 

- Unscrupulous behaviour: As a result of their erroneous core values, they do become self-discipline as an investment in the quality of our human(e) nature. Once people start to become self-indulgent, they underestimate the effects of their actions on others and lacking conscience, unscrupulous behaviour will be the lacking conscience, unscrupulous behaviour will be the end result. They might even be proud of the fact that they can ‘get away’ with so much unscrupulous behaviour, because it is as if they are ‘showing off’ their boldness or privileges. They may shoot sparrows or bully smaller children to make heroes of themselves. Desiring the belongings of others, they might take the shortcut of the belongings of others, they might take the shortcut of stealing from them. Thus just from the basis of erroneous core values, they will take advantage of others in the things they say and do, and when growing up will become ‘public enemy no .1’ undermining the quality of

 

 

Biased behaviour: They will tend to show favoritism at every opportunity

 

Loss of Respect for Others’ Human Dignity

 

When parents lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the minimal responsibilities to their children in keeping with the Six Directions, the second sign of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility for the human dignity of others sharing society-this being expressed in three different ways by the child’s behaviour:

 

- Biased intentions: In any family where parents fail to fulfil to duties to their children, especially when they treat their children unequally or fail to teach their children the damage caused by favoritism, the children will grow up to have erroneous core values. They will come to believe that doing good does not necessarily lead to good results but that wickedness might equally well yield benefits! This kind of belief will corrupt children’s minds. They will come to believe that no truly moral person exists in this world, suspecting that those who devote themselves to morality must be hypocrits or else gullable. This kind of assumption will heap up prejudices in the mind and make the child ready to show favoritism whenever the opportunity arises-but always emphasizing their own benefit. Once these children grow up and get themselves into positions of power, their prejudices will cause disaster in society, for the nation and the world.

 

- Biased speech: When a child’s intentions are prejudiced, the way they express themselves in speech on every issue, will be biased too, with no hesitation, shame or bad conscience. When they or their parents have made a mistake, they will always try to talk their way out of the blame, to rationalize or to persuade others that they are right and others wrong. They may confess only when they are pressed with evidence. Sometimes they unjustly blame others who have a conflict of interests with them. This causes misunderstanding, confusion, and fragmentation in the family.

 

 

They will tend to be ungrateful even to those who are good to them.

 

- Biased behaviour: They will tend to show favoritism at every opportunity: Lacking impartiality, these children will tend to overlook justice. When they gain something, they would keep it for themselves or share it only with their close friends. However when they have to give something up, they will arrange it to make sure they or their close friends lose the minimum. At the same time, they will try to ‘pass the buck’ so that others, who are disadvantaged refuse, there will certainly be an ensuing argument. Consequently, it can be said that where there is prejudice there would be never be love, unity or trust. There would only be only pain, hatred, vengeance and reprisals, No peace will be found.'

 

Loss of Respect for Economic Fairness

 

When parents lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the minimal responsibilities to their children prescribed by the Six Directions, the third sign of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility for self-discipline (economic-fairness) –this being expressed in three different ways by the child’s behaviour:

 

- Worshipping money: Children who have wrong view will be fascinated by the Roads to Ruin, thinking they can bring happiness, influence and excitement that are hard for other children to come by. In particular, they will see the Roads to Ruin as the way to bring them fortune. The Roads to Ruin appear like the taste of independence from their parents that they have long awaited. Once they have an income of their own, of course they are free to spend it. This is unlike the pocket money received from their parents that they have to spend with frugality any be closely inspected. However, children involved in the Roads to Ruin will consequently have expensive havbits and will have no discipline in spending. They fritter money away and once the money is used up they will borrow more from their brothers, sisters and friends. If they are refused, they will eventually turn to theft. These kind of children, unless they are corrected from childhood, will focus their lives on making money when they grow up, without caring if the way they make money is scrupulous or not. All they care about is to get more money because this is the object of their worship.

There would only be only pain, hatred, vengeance and reprisals, No peace will be found.

 

- Deceitful speech: When children become involved with the Roads to Ruin, they will always have a financial shortage. They have to tell lies to survive, or at least to exaggerate or be evasive. They use their worlds solely to take advantage of others, even those who ought to be their nearest and dearest.

 

- Unwholesome livelihood: Because they worship money, they will always take shortcuts to make money secretly without having to rely on their parents. Most of the professions that make easy money are illegal or unethical. Examples that are common at this time are drug-related incomes, piracy and child prostitution.

 

Loss of Respect for the Environment

 

When parents lack self-discipline and don’t fulfil the minimal responsibilities to their children prescribed by the Six Directions, the fourth sign of harm will be that their children lack any sense of responsibility to the Six Directions and to the natural environment-this being expressed in two main ways by the child’s behaviour.

 

- Lacking responsibility for their duties in the Six Directions: especially lacking a good interaction with the social groups in each of the Six Directions, will misbehave in at least three ways:

 

 

ways by the child’s behaviour

 

- ingratitude: They will tend to be ungrateful even to those who are good to them. They do not appreciate even the kindness of their parents. They is one type of erroneous core value and harms the family and society as a whole. Some children take for granted that they should be raised, cared-for and educated by their parents because their parents were the ones to bring them into the world. They think that any form of gratitude is optional. This kind of attitude is a seriously negative core value. Thus, children need to be taught that even to be given life by their parents is a great gift and to be born human rather than as some lower form of life is indeed a great boon.

 

- blamefulness: Children become ungrateful when they fail to see the good side of others. Moreover, when they see only the faults of others and think they are superior to the rest, they spend their time criticizing, blaming, contradicting and gossiping in every way on everyone that does not see things in the same way as them or conflicts with their interests. This kind of person is very destructive to have to associate with. Moreover, they will cause fragmentation within the family and extended family.

 

- Harmfulness: Because of their superiority complex, besides belittling others, if anyone gets on the wrong side of them, they may attack them physically. This sort of person would not stop short even of harming their parents – incidences of which have been parents have been killed by their own children.

 

-Lacking responsibility for the natural enuironment: this kind of child will misbehave in at least three ways:

 

 

 Unscrupulous behaviour: As a result of their erroneous core values

 

- Not caring abut preserving the natural environment:

 

People can only survive because of the presence of four basic requisites: food, shelter, clothing and medicine. Clean water and pure air are also essential. The presence of all these factors depends on the natural environment. Thus, if parents do not teach their children the relationship between the four requisites not only the natural environment will suffer, but even the cleanliness of their own home and garden.

 

- Protesting about any expenditure used to preserve the natural environment: If children undervalue the natural environment, they will protest whenever their parents spend money on environmental home improvement. They see such spending as a waste of money, thinking the money to be better spent on other things.

 

- Destroying the natural environment: Children who undervalue the natural environment will not even try to look after the things they use in daily life, let alone the natural environment at large. They will use the bathroom without ever thinking to clean it, and moreover will leave graffiti on the walls of public restrooms, littering the environment and disposing of trash thinking that ‘ out of sight is out of mind’. They will go on to destroy the environment by damaging street furniture and vandalizing telephone boxes and bus stops.

 

These are behaviors of children who have wrong views. If they are not corrected they will grow up as adults with even more serious wrong view and could destroy the natural environment in even worse ways and degrees.

 

 

This causes misunderstanding, confusion, and fragmentation in the family.

 

Summary of Social Problems Caused

 

In conclusion it can be said that two major problems stem from bad upbringing of children:

 

Problems of Juvenil Delinquency: Problems concerning young people in every country are becoming increasingly serious and aggressive with every year that passes. In the olden days, the problems of young people would affect only those of age fifteen upwards, but now the problems are evident even from primary school age.

 

Parental Problems: Neglect of parental duties would appear to hold a large stake in the problems of young people when parents lack the self-discipline to fulfil their own duties, it is no surprise that their children have on self-discipline either and lack any sense of responsibility for human dignity. Juvenile delinquency starts in the home and goes on to exacerbate all other sorts of social problems. Most people fail to see the connection between the problems, but the Lord Buddh  a recognized the importance of the parental duty in bringing up their children properly – and in bringing up their children properly and in the Singalovada Sutta, accordingly put the parents in the most prestigious Eastern Quarter (where the sun rises) as a reminder of the importance of this relationship. The implication of the Buddha’s teaching is that anyone unwilling or unable to fulfil the duties of a good parent according to the Buddha’s teaching, should consider themselves too immature to marry or have a family-because if they go ahead and have a family while still unable to be a good parent, they are sowing the seeds of immediate social catastrophe.

 

Realizing the gravity of the duties upon the shoulders of any parent, it is obvious that we must take care in studying exactly how the Buddha taught parents to raise their children and the means by which these can be achieved. In doing so, we can guard against becoming the sort of parents who look back on what they have achieved during their life and feel nothing but regret-because there is nothing more heartbreaking than having brought up a child who makes a mess out of their own life, life of others or of society at large.

 

 

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