The Impact of Upbringing on Character Development : หน้า 7/47

One day in first grade, Luang Por brought his best friend to his house. His father asked him what his friend's family name was, and after his friend had left, forbade him to associate or play with that person in future. Luang Por did not understand why his father had given him this stern instruction but, nevertheless, he dutifully abide by his father's instruction. Sometimes later, Luang Por asked his father the reason for this instruction. his father asked Luang Por to trust him as he knew the friend's father to be dishonest and a thief. Luang Por himself was later to discover that the friend was also not an honest and good person with whom to associate and that his father's advice, although not fully understood or appreciated at the time, was of great benefit to him in choosing the company he should keep. From an early age, Luang Por's father trained him in the home to prepare refreshment for visiting guests and allowed him to listen to the adults' conversation. Sometimes he would give him permission to ask questions. His father would tell his close and trusted friends that he was afraid that his son, being the youngest, would grow up to be spoiled and naughty; please would they do him a favour and punish his son if ever they were to see him misbehave. He told this even to Luang Por's teachers at school. In Luang Por's mind, his father created a model of what kind of person he wanted his son to be around. However, in the beginning he didn't realize how lucky he was until he went to university and discovered he was trusted and looked up to by his peers. They always elected him to be class president; he saw that this was because of his mother and father's good example, training and discipline. This is also why Khun Yai Ajahn in her astute wisdom saw the virtuous nature of his upbringing and selected him as suitable and well prepared to be ordained for further training. Another story that helps us to see the influence that a good upbringing has on a child is Luang Por's recollection of sometimes fighting with his sister when his father was away. When his father returned the neighbours would report that the children were fighting. The first thing his father would say, regardless of who was right or wrong, was "as the youngest you are not respecting your older sister according to seniority", and he was spanked. Then, after the spanking, his father Training the Trainers 12 would ask who was right or wrong. If he was the wrong one he would get spanked again. Regardless of whether he was right or wrong, if he fought with his sister he would get spanked anyway. So he had to find a better way. He learned to wait until both he and his sister calmed down, and then tried to discuss the problem with her. he learned not to fight with his sister, nor give in to his anger as it would make his situation worse. "Because I wanted you to be a good person, I have had to be very strict with you," Luang Por's father told him in the day of his graduation. "If I was agonising over you, my dear, have come this far." This explains why so many children with our own parents sacrificed to train us, and how we should choose the correct approach and sense of responsibility to be considered as a good and virtuous trainer. Luang Por's father had been a soldier awarded a scholarship to study. Due to to his diligence and academic abilities he always received first place throughout his studies. At the end of World War 1 his father's unit was disbanded and he was discharged from the military due to the country’s economic constraints, so he returned home to be a farmer and work on the land. Despite no longer being in military service, whenever the military units had problems, people carrying huge volumes of documents would come to seek out his father and ask for his advice. This was because of the respect and high esteem his father had won among his peers as an example of knowledgeable and reliable counsel. Closeness with nature combined with an awareness of the human condition caused his father to be curious about his past life, about the results of good and bad, of heaven and hell. As his father spent all of his time on his duties as a parent and farmer, in order to answer his curiosities of a celestial nature he asked Luang Por to find the answers for him, which led Luang Por to Khun Yai Ajahn. Luang Por's upbringing included the discipline of waking early, no matter the time he went to bed, keeping self and environment clean and tidy, choosing to associate with good people, and respecting and valuing knowledge. he learned the necessity of training himself from a young age and was eager to learn. Training the Trainers 13