Maintaining Harmony in Marriage : หน้า 19/62

It is normal for married couples to disagree. When we disagree or get angry, try to keep the anger away from each other. We can be mad at each other, but avoid speaking angry words. Keep your anger to yourself. We may joke and say that we can take turns to get angry with each other - we are only allowed to get angry with our spouse in the morning, and our spouse can be angry with us in the afternoon. This may be a joke but there is truth in it. When one is angry but the other is in no mood to quarrel, then the anger is diffused. It takes two to tango. We cannot clap with one hand, so make sure we do not get mad at each other at the same time. No matter how well two people have known each other or how long they have been together, one cannot assume that one's partner knows intuitively or exactly what the other partner needs or desires. The wise thing to do is to perform our duties for the family to the best of our ability at all times. The husband should strive to provide for his family, and the wife should make the home a warm, cozy and welcoming environment. Although there are many chores to carry out within a household, the priority of a spouse is to make his or her partner feel loved and comfortable in the home. When a husband or wife goes to work, he or she may encounter many work-related problems and stress. On the way home, he or she may have to fight the traffic or get frustrated with things that are annoying and show up at home in a foul mood. This happens often Occasionally, our spouse may feel the urge to unload his or her stress and frustrations on us by talking about the problems. Listen to each other without the need to offer advice or judgment, or taking on the other's problems as our own. As the saying goes, when a hot iron is plunged into cold water, the iron cools but the water heats. We do not want our own temperature to rise. Know when to say what. If our partner just needs a sympathetic ear, listen with sympathy and understanding. If our partner needs advice, give intelligent advice. If humour is needed to break the sadness, come up with a good joke. So, use this approach: 'love simultaneously, be angry at different times' and we will obtain a more harmonious married life. PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.com