Reflections on Alcoholism and Relationships : หน้า 46/62

ERVICE S around the same night until morning. I was nicknamed a 'ghost' because I rested during the daytime and woke up at night to drink. I spent more than a thousand baht a day leading this kind of life. My new business lasted only two months before I had to sell it cheaply and lost a large sum of money. My husband advised me not to invest in any more businesses because it would be better to save money and stay at home. I believed him and stayed at home making my own alcoholic drinks. I brewed two big jars of alcohol. One jar was readily available for me to drink when the other ran out. I drank everyday, each time a mug full. Alcohol seemed like a normal and common drink to me. I also bottled it and gave it to merchants in the nearby market. When the merchants got drunk, I invited them to a karaoke party in my house. My husband did not discourage me. Sometimes, he also joined our parties and sang with me, but he never drank alcohol. When I got drunk, he washed, powdered and perfumed me before putting me to sleep in our air-conditioned bedroom. He was always kind to me but I just took him for granted. I treated him badly, gave him orders and played tricks on him Once, a drunken friend of mine followed me home and told my husband that he wanted me. Crying, my husband replied that he would never let me go and affirmed that I was his love. However, if I wanted to go myself, he would not stop me. It was up to me to make my own decision. Upon hearing this, I decided to chase the drunkard out of my house. I realized then that no matter how much I had let him down, he was never mad at me. He said to my mother and my son that he did not cry at his father's death but he cried because of my bad behaviour. When I was out in the car with him, he would play the song 'Someday you will know what it feels like without me. Behind his spectacles, I saw tears trickling down his cheeks. This sight is one that still remains fresh in my memory. My husband often makes merit and always offers food to monks. But for me, it is different. Every year on Buddhist Lent Day, I take my friends to a temple to pray and observe the precepts. In the morning, I requested precepts, but when it reached noon I went home and continued to drink alcohol. I knew it was not right, but I did not know why it was wrong. PDF created with pdfFactory Pro trial version www.pdffactory.com