Dear Luang Phaw,
I am Dream-in-Dream kindergarten student from a faraway land who appreciates in the great philosophy of Luang Phaw that no one is brave to think of. I thus bring myself and family to jointly pursue perfection and follow Luang Phaw in reaching utmost Dhamma. I ask for your mercy to give clarification on questions attached to my heart for years.
My mother was a strong and decisive Chinese woman. With her feminine power, she could handle all small and large troubles in our family. My father was a humble and faithful Chinese man and was romantic to his wife consistently. My father loved my mother very much. He agreed to her on everything. This was why their love was lively and sweet as a newly wedded couple on honeymoon everyday.
There was however one thing that my father did not follow my mother. My mother refused to send her daughters for high education per Chinese’s belief. My father however could foresee, confirm, and agree to spend his money on my education until I graduated with bachelor’s degree. During the last period of his life, he was sick from unhealthy body and left us at the age of 61 years.
After my father passed away, my mother did not get the same care as when he lived though she had seven children. I am the third one. Since I was young, I however did not get along with her. Other siblings my mother loved did not take care of her, but always conflicted with her. I and my eldest sister however helped on her expenses. During the last period of her life, she got several diseases such as high blood pressure, heart disease, gouts, and paralysis. She eventually died at the hospital when she was sixty-two years.
Myself – Amongst seven siblings, I am the only person who had a chance to study at undergraduate level in Chinese Literature. I thus love art and culture of China very much. My siblings do not get high education and have no belief in Buddhism. This makes our communication get tough.
After my mother passed away, my sibling pushed all family’s burdens to me. I was a teacher at the time and I was a lovely teacher of my students. I married and had children. This gave me a big burden and stressed me out a lot until I could not focus and had to take leave for half a year.
During my recovery break, I barely ate. I could only drink half glass of Milo (hot chocolate). My weight went down ten kilos. I sometimes wanted to commit suicide. Because I was worried about my husband and my daughter, I stopped this thought. After 6-month leave, I returned to work and have chanted to retain my focus and conscious. I however still took medication. I later stopped taking the medication and observed myself. If I get stressed out, I would chant and meditate. I also helped out on a work at Mahayana Buddhist Temple until I recovered and returned to teach as normal. I had experienced a strange situation once. When I first started my career as a teacher, the school arranged a party at a beach resort in order to have everyone know each other more.
That morning, I went to walk with other teachers on the beach. While we walked past by one big tree, I fainted suddenly. On that night, my friends (teachers) brought me home, and they told me that while I was unconscious I told them my home phone number so that they could call and take me home.
I was very surprised because I could not remember anything since I was unconscious until I was home.
My husband is kind of quiet person, well-mannered, and very handsome. When he does something, he will do it seriously and sincerely. He loves family and also worries about my parents and siblings too. He has never offended me, he is always mister OK. We respect each other. When I was suffering and had Dhamma to cure, my husband would always support and encourage me to learn Dhamma. I feel very thankful.
Six years ago, we found that he had cancer in testicle. Later on he had operated and was recovered for a certain period, but the symptom was back three years later. Fortunately, we had found and cured just in time. Currently, it is not a serious problem.
We have 2 daughters, and both of them are beautiful. They both look like each other, but personalities are absolutely different. The younger daughter is very well-mannered, obedient, and polite as a little lady; everyone loves her. She has never made me uncomfortable. The older daughter likes to be petulant and loud. We could not overcome her. She is a stiff person and she fights back to everyone.
In 1988, when they were young, teaching monk from Mahayana Buddhist Temple let me be a head of chorus to sing Buddhist songs. This made my daughters to follow us to temple.
My older daughter can get along very well with her friends, they all admire her as good girl. But when she is with me, she always says something to hurt my feeling. Only sometimes when she is in a good mood, she will talk and smile to me. Before, my older daughter was much closer to her father and sister even though she could not get along with me. But in year 2000, after her graduation and working as a TV director; her father one time lost her script and even though he apologized many times, she has never forgiven. Since then, she acts like never knowing us before. Even when we walk pass by, she still does not care.
I have even asked her why? I also cried and begged her to be the same. She did not change and did not care her family. Something happened to her last year; she did not go to work, only stayed at home. She woke up at three in the afternoon and watched TV shows until five in the morning and went to sleep.
I was hiding my sadness from my husband; as it could affect his health because he loves my older daughter very much. Finally I could not hide this feeling.
He knows that I am very hurt, and then he said to me that “you have learnt Dhamma for many years, why you just cannot let it go. If you continue do like this, it would not be good to your health.” Actually, I know that I have to let it go, but when I look at her I could not face with my wisdom and rational. This is a suffering of motherhood, which anyone would not know if they are not a mother.
1) Why did my father love and please my mother very much but after my father passed away, her children did not take care of her much? Why did I not get along with my mother since I was young?
2) Where has my mother been reborn after passing away? Has she passed any message to me?
After she passed away, I and my husband make merits and dedicate to her every year. However why every time I dreamt about her, she insulted me like she did when she was alive? Later I cast Buddha image for her and have never had a nightmare again.
3) Why did I love and have strong bond with my father very much? Is it because I was born as his daughter in the past?
Where is my father? How is his living condition? Has he had anything to tell me?
4) My husband’s parents were kind and loved their descendants very much and I got along with them very well. Both of them died with cancer so I and my husband cast Buddha image for each of them. We also make merits and chant and always dedicate the merits to them. Where have they been reborn? How are their living conditions? Have they passed any message to us?
5) What retribution did my husband have so he had testicular cancer? Why was it not cured at the first treatment? Will he surface this retribution next life? How can he resolve this?
6) Why does my oldest daughter have offensive personality and she usually does not get along with me as well as has problem with her father when she grows up?
Do I and my husband have kamma together with our oldest daughter? Will this retribution follow us to the next life? How should we resolve this? How will my oldest daughter receive this retribution? If her parents forgive her, how will she receive the retribution from her deeds?
7) My youngest daughter is well-mannered. She is about to get married to her boy-friend this year and build up family financial security. I wish for their family to pursue perfection with the Dhammakaya community. How should I perform a duty of a virtuous friend them?
8) What kamma made me carry burdens from my existing family (my siblings) and my new family (my husband and children) which caused me stress disease, could not consume food and could drink only half a glass of Milo (hot chocolate) each day for 6 months as well as think of committing suicide?
What wholesomeness helped me from committing suicide and recover from stress by chanting? How can I resolve this retribution so that I will not face this retribution again in this and next lives?
9) Why was I unconscious while strolling on the beach with friends? Why can I tell my address and telephone number to my colleagues while I was unconscious?
10) I used to be a volunteer at the temple many times. On Sunday, I saw some temple staffs were very busy so they meditated in front of their computers or DMC screen at their office in the temple. How are the situations between having physical body meditate in the hall that the great root teacher controlling merits and listening radio broadcast in the office alone provide merits and progress of meditation differently?
11) How had I, my husband and both of my daughters pursued perfection with the Dhammakaya community? Why were we born aboard? Why did I and my husband meet the community at the old age? How was my and my husband’s meditation progress?
Although my husband does not study Chinese literature like me, he can read and learn Chinese language to a certain degree. How should we utilize our knowledge in language to help spread Dhammakaya knowledge so that it will create the most benefits for your project?
I would like to pay my highest respects to you, Luang Phaw.
Luang Phaw's Dream
I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)
1) The reason that your father pleased your mother very much was because they loved each other at present and, in the past life, they used to be husband and wife but, importantly, there was a past life that your mother married to a husband (not your father) and in that life she took the best care of her husband as well as made a wish “In this life, I take the best care of my husband. In the next life, I wish to have a husband who pleases me.” For this reason, she had a husband who loved and pleased her like your father.
- Since you were young, you cannot get along with your mother because she thought she did not like that your father loved and spoiled you too much so she insulted you often. You and she did not have bad deed to each other from the past life but it was the present deed.
2) After passing away, your mother was born as an earth-sprite in a line of ogre. She received merits you dedicated to her after she passed away.
- You and your husband have dedicated merits to her every year but you still dreamt of your mother insulting you like when she was alive because of your hindrance mind about the past. Once you cast Dhammakaya image for her, the merits help you to get rid of these past pictures so you no longer had nightmare.
3) You love and have strong connection with your father because, in this life, your father specially loved and was kind to you and, in the past life; you used to be his child for many lives as well.
- Now, your father is an earth-sprite in a village of earth-sprite. He received merits you dedicated to him. He is happy and passes thank-you message to you.
4) After your parents-in-law passed away, they are earth-sprites in a village of earth-sprite. At the beginning, they had bad living conditions. However, after regularly receiving merits you had dedicated to them, they have better living conditions. They are happy and thank you for dedicating merits to them as merits make them have better and more refined treasures and food. They pass their regards to you and your husband as well.
5) Your husband got testicular cancer because, in the past life, he had been trying to sterilise his pet dog by tying the dog’s testicles with robe until its testicles decayed. The cancer did not fully recover at the first treatment because of the retribution that he had done for many times. The retribution has not been repaid yet so it will surface again in next life. He has to resolve it by offering generosity (dhana), observing precepts (sila), doing mediation (bhavana) and dedicating merits to animals he used to exploit in the past.
6) Your oldest daughter has tough character and cannot get along well with you because of your present kamma that you used to argue your mother in this life and, in a past life; you were often tough to your mother like your daughter does to you in this life. This kamma magnetized your oldest daughter who used to be your neighbour and fight each other to be reborn together.
- The story is that in one of your past lives you and your husband were husband and wife like in this life, your oldest daughter was your neighbour next door.
- At the beginning, you both were very close and helpful but later you were suspicious and jealous as well as afraid that your husband would love the neighbour so you started to insult her and eventually you both fought each other so your neighbour or the past of your oldest daughter was also angry at your husband and found chances to fight with your husband as well.
- You and she were angry at each other since that life.
- You should forgive her and regularly accrue merits for her and the retribution will be lessened. If you are still angry at her, the retribution will continue to next life.
- Your oldest daughter will repay the retribution that she has done to her parents. Once she has her own children, she will be treated the same by her children. Although her parents forgive her, the retribution will be less but it is not vanished, she will have to receive retribution from her conduct for many future lives.
7) Your youngest daughter is well-mannered. She is about to get married to her boy-friend and build up family financial security. You should be her virtuous friend by pursuing her to offer generosity (dhana), observe precepts (sila), accrue all merits little by little and meditate. She had accrued some merits with Dhammakaya community not so long ago and she will come to accrue merits with Dhammakaya community again.
8) The past deed that makes you to carry burdens from your existing family (your siblings) and your new family (your husband and your children) which caused you stress disease and could not consume food as well as could drink only half a glass of Milo (hot chocolate) each day is that, in the past life, you liked to pass responsibilities to your siblings which made your siblings very stressed like you were in this life.
- However, you have merits that you had accrued with Dhammakaya community and Buddhism to prevent you from committing suicide and relieving stress by chanting, you do not have retribution from committing suicide as well.
- To resolve this retribution, you have to often perform a duty of a virtuous friend, accrue all merits and regularly make a wish to be born in a good family, have perfect parents and siblings. The merits will prevent you from facing the situations again in next life.
9) You passed out when you strolled on a beach with your friends. At the beginning, you were conscious so you could tell your friends your address and telephone number but later that part of your memory fades away so you cannot recall the event.
10) You used to be a volunteer at the temple many times. On Sunday, you saw some temple staffs were very busy so they meditated in front of their computers or DMC screen at their office. Which situation provide more merits between having physical body meditate in the hall that the great root teacher controlling merits and listening radio broadcast in the office alone? If minds are equally concentrated and connects to the great root teacher then meditation in the hall will provide more merits as the location is closer to merit controlling source.
- However, if a mind is unable to concentrate in the hall and connect to the great root teacher while at the office, a mind can concentrate and connect to the great root teacher, then the latter will provide more merits.
11) You, your husband and your two daughters used to pursue perfection with Dhammakaya community as a provider but you slowly decided when you accrued merits so you meet the community when you are at old age and did not make a wish to meet the community in childhood.
- You were born abroad because you both intended to help the community to widely spread Dhammakaya knowledge. It is not retribution.
- You both should use your proficiency in Chinese language to translate meditation practice to attain inner Dhammakaya in Chinese language and become a virtuous friend to Chinese all around the world to be interested in meditation and attain inner Dhammakaya.
- Since we have met each other in this life, therefore you must try to pursue perfection in all merits with fullest efforts and make a wish to follow the Dhammakaya community to the fourth level of heaven (Tusita), in the special merit zone – bodhisattva as well as do not be apart from each other again