Let’s Decide Where to Die

She was born in the family that everybody accomplished in their life. Her father is a smart and well-educated people. Her mother has a very high IQ. Her sister always gets the first place of the class. However, she is different and looks like a looser among the winners. Even her marriage did not go smoothly. She has many suffering. Only her grandmother gave her an encouragement. Once her grandmother passed away, she intended to do the merit for her grandmother for one year. Then she will commit suicide. Fortunately, she found DMC before she did that. https://dmc.tv/a1955

Dhamma Articles > Case studies
[ Feb 8th, 2007 ] - [ read : 16793 ]
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Let’s Decide Where to Die
I pay my highest respects to you, Luang Phaw.
Dear Luang Phaw,

First of all, I would like to thank Luang Pu Wat Pak Nam, Luang Phaw Dhammajayo, Luang Phaw Dattajivo, teaching monks from Dhammakaya branches around the world, and Khun Yay Ubasika Chandra Khonnokyoong who helped me be free from dilemma and survive until now.

I also have a chance to continuously accrue merits in the United States for more than ten years.  I would like to start with stories of my family members.

My mother is the second child among five sisters.  She is wealthy, beautiful, clever, and smart.  She used to check her I.Q. and surprised the doctor by her I.Q. level of 170. (Normal people have I.Q. level of 85-115.)

Once my mother married with my father, everyone said that they were a perfect couple.  They both are well-educated.  They happily stayed together until their first child was two years old.  I was the second child who was still in her womb.  They later had conflict because of a surplus in their marriage life.

My mother just knew that my father had another lady before they even got married.  They had a child together and he left them.  My mother was very angry and went to see that lady at her house.  She met a five-year-old boy who was tied at his ankles with a table leg.

He was left without care.  His ankles had blisters and were bleeding.  His mother did not have time to look after and left him for work.  My mother then showed her interest in raising this boy and the lady asked for 5,000 baht for taking this boy.  My mother instantly gave the money and brought the boy to cure until his wound was fully recovered.  She sent the boy for my paternal grandparents to take care of.

The story did not end there.  My grandfather did not like that my father betrayed him.  He gave my father two choices; either to die in Thailand or outside Thailand.  My father chose to die outside Thailand.  My grandfather then gave him an air ticket with pocket money for studying and to never return to Thailand.

Seven years later, my grandfather passed away and my father returned to Thailand as he loved Thailand.  He returned to bring my mother with him to the United States.  Later, my mother felt hurt as she found that my father had the other American lady with him.  She could not tolerate his flirting and divorced him.  My mother then brought me, my sister, and my grandmother to the United States.  She ran a nursing home for seniors.

My father was a son of a farmer in Ayudhaya.  He was the only child who had the highest education and entered Chulalongkorn University.  He studied well and was good at sword fighting with two hands.  He won and got a warlord title.  He had a motto “Win in everything we do.  If not, why do we have to do it?”

My father used to help an unemployed man in the United States who ate and slept in a temple by hiring him to take care of his garden while he was out to Thailand.  However, his other house got robbed while he was in Thailand.

From all evidences, it proved that the man got involved in this robbery.  My father then fired him; however, he did not want to leave.  On my uncle’s birthday, while my father was going to have lunch with my uncle, the man called him to talk and shot him twice at his face.  After that the man got crazy and ran to the backyard and tried to commit suicide.  The police later could convince him.

My father passed away when he was eighty-one years old.  This tragedy became hot news on television and newspapers.  My father had a number of women his entire life.  Even his life before he was eight-one years old, he still had another woman to entertain him.

My grandfather was a government officer who was in-charge of railway construction in North-Eastern region.  During a revolution of railways between King Rama V and King Rama IX, my grandfather would often come home with hunted animals for my grandmother to cook.  After he retired, he used to join Thai Freedom mob.  He was a spy to bring up news on the movement of Japanese military for military alliance to explode bombs at important places where Japanese military based.

During his last period of life, he had a heart disease and diabetes and passed away at an age of 68 years.

My grandmother loved to accrue merits and give generosity.  Although we moved to the United States, she brought Buddha image with her.  She regularly accrued merits at Dhammakaya temple in Los Angeles as she knew that everybody needed to accrue merits.

Later, she knew that Maywood Dhammakaya temple was built.  It was right on her birthday and she asked me to prepare requisites.  After that, she went to take a nap.  Once all were set up, I later tried to wake her up to accrue merits.  But, she calmly passed away at an age of 72 years.

After the funeral, I went offering requisites to the monastic order as a whole at Maywood temple, cast one Buddha image and pledged my grand mother’s name on. I did not believe that all my dedication merit would be reached to my grandmother, so I made a wish to have my grandmother tell me if she received all merits.

Two weeks later, I dreamed about my grandmother wearing dress made with gold with a beautiful design, she looked very beautiful and told me that she got all my dedication merits.

I have a problem in my life. I was born in a family that everyone succeeded in their work and life. When everyone was in school, they all topped in class because they all have high I.Q.

I was the only one that almost failed the exam and ranked 20th or 30th in class all the time. I was a loser among a winner (Black sheep of a family). It was hurtful but only my grandmother who loved me without condition encouraged me, “Getting 30th  ranking in the class is better, because you got lots more than your sister that has only 1st ranking.”. Even I was not good in studying, but I finally graduated with Faculty of Nursing in the US.

I do not have success in my marriage life. My mother gave almost USD 100,000 up front money to my sister to settle down in the US, and she was successful and has profit return for one hundred millions.
I, myself got almost USD 200,000 from my mother, but my husband cheated me. He embezzled all my money to do restaurant and financial business that he registered only on his name and his relatives. Lastly, he was bankrupt, and had a loss of more than USD 500, 000.

This made me disastrous and embarrassed. My mother was very angry that I was deceived. I myself also felt very bad and even more I was blamed and sarcastic from the family members everyday that “there is no place in this family for a loser and a weak and dump person like you”. These words really hurt my feeling and I thought why I should live.  

Later on, my maternal grandmother who always encouraged me passed away. I felt like I had lost everything. I thought that I would withstand to make merits for her and after 1 year, I would cremate her body and commit suicide.

When that day came, I with pain in my mind went to prostrate before the principle Buddha image for the last time at the meditation Center in Maywood.      

While I was prostrating the principle Buddha image, a Buddhist monk walked in. At that time, I had prejudice against Buddhist monks so I pretended to turn my back to him so I did not have to greet the monk.

All of a sudden, he said, “You have many problems”. I was surprised how he knew that. He then continued, “Have you ever meditated? Would you like to practice.”.

At that time, I felt like I had lost everything so I immediately followed him. He then advised me, “All our belongings can be obtained and lost. If we do not have enough merits to possess, they will belong to others. Let them take it.”.

I was impressed in his abstinence and his Dhamma teaching that touched my mind in every word. I therefore have stopped thinking of suicide and turned to think of good deeds and pursue perfection beside Luang Phaw and the Dhammakaya community instead. I now know that our lives are sometimes up and down the other time. When our minds are tired, we should let go and focus our minds at the centre of the body. Subsequently, we will feel relieved.

My elder sister has got married with an Iran man. Their business is very successful and one of the top 500 biggest companies in the United States.

Presently, my sister and her husband believe in atheism because they perceive that there are bad people in all religions. They therefore believe in themselves. They do not have children so they love my son like their own son.

While I was pregnant with this son, I had a weird dream that a devil possessed my son and he was motionless. That devil said, “Give it to me.” and he harshly pulled my arm from my belly until I felt my arm fell off.

I thought about Khun Yay’s teaching that on seeing ghosts, we should chant; so I chanted “Na mo tassa”. Although I sometimes chanted it wrong, the ghost vanished.

My son used to meditate and saw crystal ball when he was young. He has grown up to a teenager and only listens to his aunt. Moreover, He believes in atheism like my sister and her husband.

1) What merits does my maternal grandfather receive when he honestly served government in railway department?
He however killed animals for food and was a spy who told soldiers the locations to throw bombs.
What retribution does he have from these?
Where has he been reborn after passing away? Has he received merits from my dedication?

2) My maternal grandmother professed Buddhism and had been a good Buddhist for her entire life. Before passing away, she requested to offer requisites to Buddhist monks. How does this intention effect on her mind before she died? Where has she been reborn after passing away? Can she receive merits from my dedication? I dreamed of her to come to tell me that she has received every merit. Has she really come in my dream?

3) What deeds did my mother do so she is smart, has high I.Q., and was born in good family but fails in marriage life? Why does none of her siblings whom my mother has helped appreciate her grace? On the other hand, the people who love and support her are friends not siblings.

4) What kamma had my father made so he was born as a son of a country farmer but studied very well and he later became one of the wealthy men in Los Angeles and had women pander him until his last day?

5) What retribution did my father have with the killer? How was he when he just passed away? Where has he been reborn?

I made contributions with his money to the 122 year-old Luang Pu, 2006 Emperor Kathina, 2006 daily kathina and meditation hall at mediation center in California merits. Has he received the merits?
With his money, will he receive more merits than spending my money to dedicate to him?
My mother dreamed that my father came to thank me with happy tears? Did he come to tell me?

6) Why was I born to smart parents but I am less smart than my parents and all siblings?
What wholesomeness brought me to meet the teaching monk and give up the idea of committing suicide?
What retribution will I have by being prejudice and disrespecting Buddhist monks? How should I resolve this?

7) What kamma did I and my husband have together so he devastated and cheated me in this life?

8) In my dream when I was pregnant with this son, why did the ghost try to take away my son?
Was he born particularly to help people?
How were my son and my sister related in the past so he only listened to my sister until he believes in atheism?

9) What wholesomeness had my sister and her husband accrued so they are very successful in business?
What retribution made my sister and her husband believe in atheism? What kamma will they have by persuading my son who used to have a faith in Buddhism to believe in atheism? How do I help my sister, her husband and my son?

10) What merits had I and my sister accrued together so we were born as siblings although we are completely different in dispositions and thoughts?

11) When I accrue merits, I always bring my mother and son along with me. My mother always rejoiced merits and offered generosity with respect. On the contrary, my son does not show any feeling.
How will my mother and son receive merit differently?

12) How had I, my mother and my son pursued perfection with the Dhammakaya community? What were our duties in the Dhamma army? What should we do to not miss the last express train to heaven?

I would like to pay my highest respects to you.


Luang Phaw's Dream

I closed my eyes, dreamed and woke up with these answers.
When you tell anybody the story like a tale, it will make anyone know more about retribution (Law of Kamma)

1) Serving government honestly, your maternal grandfather will result in having subordinates and retinues who are also honest to him.
  • He killed animals for food and was a spy who told soldiers the locations to throw bombs. As a result of his actions, he will have short life span, have severe disease which leads him to death or be disabled.
  •   He was brought to purgatory of major hell in a level dedicated for killing kamma. He is being sliced, dissected, shot, etc. by purgatory staff as same as what he did. He is suffering considerably. The reason that he did not go to major hell is because of merits he accrued in Buddhism tradition, support him. He has received merits you have dedicated to him. The merits have relieved him from punishment but his punishment has not completely been paid off yet so you have to dedicate more merits to him regularly.

2) Your maternal grandmother professed Buddhism and had been a good Buddhist for her entire life. Before passing away, she requested to offer requisites to Buddhist monks which consequently made her omen of suffering clear at a certain level. However, she passed away without preparation so she was around there for a while. Later on, she received merits you dedicated to her. The merits made her recollect all merits she had accrued. These merits made her see bright way to suddenly reborn as a beautiful female angel with golden heavenly mansion in phase 2 of the second level of heaven [Tavatimsa]. It is true that you saw her in your dream because at the time she was around there.

3) Your mother is smart, has high I.Q., was born in good family but fails in marriage life because, in the past life, she loved to study, pursued wisdom perfection and does not have drinking kamma as well as always made a wish to have wisdom and offer generosity (dhana) regularly. Her marriage life is failed because of her past adultery kamma when she was a wise man. This is exactly the same that her present husband does to her. Scenes reflect what she had done in the past when she was a man.
  • Your mother has helped all her siblings but nobody recollects her grace. Have her think that she is a giver without conditions and this is her relative supporting merits. One day, her good deeds will return to her. All her siblings actually know and appreciate in her grace but they just don’t show off.
  • Persons who love and support her are her friends not her siblings because, in the past life, she treated her friends better than she did to her family. Therefore, in this life, she faces the same things that she did. She should continue doing this because this is her merits as a giver.

4) Your father was born as a son of a country farmer but studied very well because, in the past life, your father loved to study but had ego that he was good. Consequently, he has to be born to a country farmer.
  • Later he became wealthy and had women pander him until his last day because he liked to offer generosity (dhana) and helped people who had less opportunity in the past life. As a result of these actions, he becomes wealthy but having women pander him is his new bad deeds.

5) Your father has bad deeds with the killer because, in the past life, he studied very well and served the government as a high position court official. He sentenced a theft’s case a death row so the theft has sought revenge to him. In this life, he met your father so he killed your father in return.
  • When your father just passed away, he was still around there because he died unconsciously and unprepared. Next 7 days, he was brought to purgatory of major hell in a level dedicated for adultery kamma. However, he has merits he accrued in Buddhism tradition and you have dedicated to him so he becomes an ogre who has a pot-sized testicle from his adultery kamma and has a duty to torture creatures in purgatory dedicated for adultery kamma for an equivalent duration of 10 worldly months and rests for an equivalent duration of 2 worldly months.
  • Spending his money to accrue merits that are dedicated to him will make him receive more merits than spending your money to dedicate to him. Your mother’s dream was a consequence for her hindrance mind.

6) You were born to smart parents but you are less smart than your parents and all siblings because, in the past life, you like to support others’ education but you did not like to study yourself and did not make a wish to have wisdom as well as have drinking kamma consequence. However, there was a past life that you were very smart but you looked down on people who were less smart than you and the consequence takes effect in this life.
  • You have met a teaching Buddhist monk who helped you to give up an idea of committing suicide because, in the past life, you were virtuous friends to others so this merit influenced you to meet the teaching Buddhist monk who was your virtuous friend and you do not have kamma from committing suicide. However, you have verbal kamma that you told less smart people to commit suicide and this influenced you to do so.
  • Having bias and disrespecting Buddhist monks will make you have remnant of retribution to be born in low class family because your action shows that you do not respect in triple gems. To resolve this, you have to pay respect to triple gems sincerely and make a wish often to escape from this retribution.

7) You have devastating and cheating husband in this life because they are pictures from your past life when you were a man, you did the same thing. This is your past retribution but it will be your husband’s new bad deeds. You both do not seek revenge to each other from the past life.

8) A dream you had when you were pregnant of your son was from your abnormal body elements and hindrance mind, nothing special. He was born to attain nirvana (the supreme goal of Buddhist), accrue merits, pursue perfections, and find Lord Buddha’s Dhamma teachings which are reasonable and useful for him both in this life and next lives, and pay attention to learn the Dhamma teachings in details without caring about mistakes of somebody else. Whether he will believe or disbelieve in Buddhism, he should study both theory and practice first in order to be called a wise man.
  • Your son and your older sister were relatives in the past life like they are in this life. Your son believes your older sister because she is successful in life; i.e. wealthy. Your older sister does not know that this is a consequence from her past merits. There will be no past merits left if she does not accrue new merits, believes in atheism and does not learn about Lord Buddha’s Dhamma teachings.

9) Your older sister and brother-in-law are greatly successful in business but believe in atheism because, in the past life, your older sister and brother-in-law pursue giving perfection in worldly type but did not make an encircled wish. Your older sister used to make merits in Buddhism so she was born to a family that her mother and grandmother believe in Buddhism but because her past merits influence her to success in life so that she thought the success is from her own two hands as well as she saw mistakes of somebody which makes her think that it is unnecessary to believe in any religions.
  • As a result of persuading your son to believe in atheism like her, your older sister will close her way and your son’s to nirvana. To resolve this, you have to be her virtuous friend and tell her to believe or not; she has to learn and practice first, because the truth is the truth and do not just perceive from mistakes of someone.

10) Your older sister and your sister are siblings because you both used to accrue merits together by persuasion of your mother and your grandmother in the past life; although, you both are very much different in this life.

11) When you accrue merits, you always bring your mother and your son along with you. Your mother rejoiced merits and offered with respect. As a result of the actions, she will have both wealth and be born in high class family as well as have obeyed children and grandchildren. Your son does not show any feeling, he will receive less merits in proportion. 

12) Your mother, you and your son used to pursue perfection with Dhammakaya community as a supporter who supported Dhammakaya Buddhism activities.
  • Since we have met each other in this life, therefore you must try to pursue perfection in all merits with fullest efforts and make a wish to follow the Dhammakaya community to the fourth level of heaven [Tusita], in the special merit zone – bodhisattva as well as do not be apart from each other again.


Case study in real life

The Law of Kamma (Pali:Compared to "Karma" in Sanskrit) segment or "Case Study" is one of the prominent sections on the Dream in Dream kindergarten program, conducted by the Venerable Phrarajbhavanavisudh, also known as, Luang Phaw Dhammajayo of the Dhammakaya Temple in Pathum Thani Province, Thailand.

Each individualized "Case Study" is based on the timeless Law of Kamma (the Law of Cause and Effect) which examines the reasons for many situations and complex inter-relationships people find themselves in. Viewers from around the world write personal letters to Luang Phaw wanting to understand the karmic reasons for many special circumstances in their life.

This program is not intended to convert anyone to Buddhism or any other religions persuasion. Rather the goal is to help spread genuine peace, happiness and understanding here in Thailand and around the world. By first discovering and cultivating inner peace within ourselves through meditation, we can help spread love and kindness outward, helping to make our world a better place for everyone.


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      The Ghost Brushed Away
      Want to cremate her


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