Understanding Adultery and Alcoholism in Marriage : หน้า 102/207

1) A husband strays because he lacks something from his wife Although this is a very difficult task, a wife needs to understand the shortcomings she may have which influenced her husband to cheat. Searching for one’s own shortcomings requires us to first calm the mind. There is no better way to attain clarity other than practicing meditation everyday. The smallest flaws of others are perceived as enormous, while we cannot recognize our own huge and appalling flaws. When we close our eyes to meditate, we can only see ourselves. Our flaws will slowly come into view. The calmer our minds become, the more we will see. If we can begin to see our own flaws, a way to remedy them will also emerge. There is one thing about which I would like to warn the wife who has an adulterous husband: do not resort to black magic or vindictive behavior just to spite him. This is not the solution, and it will only fuel the flames of animosity. 2) A cheating husband may be adulterous by habit This type is very difficult to remedy, so a spouse can only endure and consider it the sad consequence of not assessing people well and for choosing someone like that as a husband. You can only control your own behavior, and it is best to retain your dignity by not retaliating in kind. Changing an adulterous husband requires time. Continue to perform good deeds so that he will feel appreciative. Perhaps he will stop his adulterous ways. Even though this may require many years, it is really all that we can do. **Confronting an Alcoholic Husband** Luang Phaw also had recommendations for this situation: If a wife finds herself married to an alcoholic husband, it requires her to analyze and come to terms with the fact that this may be due to her erroneous choices. The first choice she made was to marry instead of remaining single. The second choice she made was to marry a man who drank excessively. Having an alcoholic father and husband in the household is detrimental to the children. As children they see his drunken and disorderly conduct and become belligerent too. They learn from his example and may grow up to be alcoholics themselves. A wife must correct this tendency in her children as diligently as she can. The married life is not easy. If you make the wrong choices from the beginning, you will have to deal with the consequences for the rest of your life.