Helping a Parent Overcome Alcoholism : หน้า 113/207

At that time, my father was seventy years old. I wanted him to chant, meditate and purify his mind, and I hoped that he would accrue as many merits as he could during the latter part of his life, so that he could take those merits with him to his future lives. When I tried to persuade him to quit drinking, and come to the temple to make merit, he retorted: “That is a great idea. If I started meditating today and drink alcohol while doing it, it might even make my meditation clearer.” How was I to respond if he replied like that? If I spoke too harshly to him, I would gain bad karma since he was my father. If I did not warn him, I would not be compensating him for giving me life. I struggled for years before finding a solution. Finally, I had to use ingenuity to solve this problem. I started by telling my mother not to purchase liquor for him. Since he was unable to bully my mother into buying it, he turned to my sister. Then, I asked my sister not to purchase alcohol for him. When he could not ask his children, he turned to his grandchildren. I then told the grandchildren not to buy any liquor for their grandfather. When the grandchildren refused to do as their grandfather had requested, he complained and scolded them. I told the grandchildren to endure for their grandfather’s sake. As a last resort, my father then coerced his great grandchildren, who were seven and eight years old, to buy liquor for him. I had to guide and instruct the great grandchildren, using various methods. The process was like cutting down a tree. We cannot cut at the main root, but must first cut at the branch roots. The main root will eventually die, as its sources of nutrients are severed and eliminated. Eventually, my father was able to quit drinking because nobody would buy liquor for him, and the liquor store was too far from home for him to go for himself. We were very fortunate. My father passed away at the age of 86. He stopped drinking completely at the age of 80 so was alcohol-free only six years before he died. If you want to help your father quit drinking, you should patiently seek a method that is suitable for him. Don’t give up, not even for one day, and then you will find a way. Dear respectable readers, now that you have read up to this part, you should realize that it is a difficult task for children who want to help their father to quit drinking. When teaching adults, we need to make them think. In order to avoid embarrassment, we need to use wisdom to find a way that is appropriate to their personality. We must persevere so that we can lead them away from the unfortunate realms (Abhayabhum).