The Dynamics of Family Relationships : หน้า 11/207

of warning that person, tired of teaching that person, or tired of advising that person, it will manifest into a family in which each family member lives on their own in the same house. There will not be any sharing or exchange of good deeds amongst family members. Our good deeds and their good deeds will not increase. Tiredness towards each other is a sign of a family’s inevitable destruction, because it will soon evolve to a point where they will all live apart and no one will be able to warn each other. When they are unable to warn each other, they will be unable to tolerate one another and then fighting and the exchange of negativity will ensue. Everyone will ultimately end up abusing each other. The way to stay together as a family unit is to have an open mind and to allow for open dialogue; family members should be able to inform each other from the beginning if they feel that another person’s actions are inappropriate. It is better than waiting until you reach the point where you cannot stand each other and trying to talk about it then. That could turn out to be like a volcanic eruption. Problem #4: The problem of selfishness. The problem of selfishness can be referred to as being self-centered. The Warm Hearted Family 20 The Heart of the Family Human nature is such that whenever more than three people live together, individual groups will form. Whenever there is a division in that group, for example, due to one person in the group receiving something special, that person must think about the group first. It does not matter if anyone in the group is suffering, because that person will not care. If there is a more serious situation, even siblings will separate from one another because one person’s selfishness has already plunged his/her mind into darkness. When a time arises where one of them has unexpected luck, that person will not want to share this good fortune with anyone in the family. In addition, that person will take advantage of others in the family and so the family will eventually crumble because of one person’s self-centeredness. One day, the problem will cause the family’s disintegration until the family unit no longer exists. **Dhamma for Laypersons: the Heart of a Stable Family** When a person thinks about selecting a spouse, or thinks about getting married and having a family, one must prepare oneself because nobody can avoid the four Problems previously mentioned.