Reflections on Life and Ordination : หน้า 149/207

that one can do whenever one wants to. Ordination requires merits accumulated from one’s past life, as well as meeting all the qualifications set out in the discipline section of the Tripitaka. Unfortunately, my father passed away when I was small, so he did not get to see his son in the saffron robes. And I had had two close calls, which almost took my life before my father. The first time was when I was a little over ten years old. As I was daydreaming and pretending to be a sword fighter in a Chinese martial arts movie, I did not see a motorcycle coming because the hat I was wearing was blocking my view. Fortunately, the motorcycle was coming at a slow speed. I was knocked over, but was able to get up and walked away with minor injuries. That was my first brush with death. The second time was when my appendix burst during the night. I was taken to the hospital by my mother and grandmother. However, the doctor did not diagnose me correctly. If there had been an internal infection, my family would be making arrangements for my funeral. I suffered for 15 hours while the doctor treated me for a normal stomachache. Once he found out that my appendix had ruptured, I was immediately operated on. When I came around from the anesthesia the next morning, still groggy, I saw the fellow in the next bed who had suffered the same case. But he must have it a lot worst than mine because I saw tubes still draining toxin out of him. I felt lucky. When I turned around, I saw the faces of two elderly ladies with expressions of enormous relief. I thought, “My mother and grandmother must have been here all night watching over me.” I felt right there that these two ladies must have loved me very much. They were the ones who loved me with all their hearts; it was an unselfish love which expected nothing in return. I asked myself if I had done anything to repay their love. And the answer is….very little. I realized right there that I must not do anything to hurt them if I could help it. These two close shaves played a major part in spurring me to ordain. I wanted my mother and grandmother to see me in the saffron robes. I wanted to give them the chance to accumulate merits, and I wanted them not to worry about me any longer since I would be educated in Dhamma. **We are Walking to Our Graves** I decided to ordain after I finished college. When I looked at life, everything seems so unpredictable. We might see someone in the morning, but by the evening, he could be dead.