Caring for a Dying Parent: A Buddhist Perspective : หน้า 159/207

bad deeds, in his last moment of life, he will experience great suffering. "As a daughter, you should stay close to your father. When the chance arises, give your father a Dhamma talk; bring him flowers, candles and incense to pay homage to the Lord Buddha three times a day. In the beginning, he may refuse your proposal. Be patient and keep talking; tell him to pray everyday or as much as he can. "If his condition does not permit him to sit, he can also pray while laying down. When he used to be strong he may have doubted what you said. But at the last moment when the pain is unbearable for him and you tell him to take refuge in the Triple Gem, he may consider taking your advice. "Another thing you can do is to prepare alms food (rice, fruit or flower) for him to offer to the monks. Or it would be even better if you can invite the monks to visit his bed to receive his alms offering. If this is not possible, you can also offer alms food somewhere else on his behalf and tell him later in order that he can rejoice in the merit. "By following this advice, he will struggle less, especially, if he still has some personal merit left to believe you. He will be calmer while struggling with the pain. But if he rejects everything, then you can do nothing but look forward to repaying the debt of gratitude to him in the next lifetime. "Several years ago, there was someone I knew who was a care-taker of a temple. He suffered diabetes and had to be amputated for that reason. After the operation, everyday at two o'clock he would suffer such an acute pain from his wound that nothing could stop the pain. "And because he had faith in Buddhism and believed in the Law of Kamma, I visited him and gave him chanting and meditation cassettes. After breakfast, we would tell him to rest. While we turned on the cassette for him to chant, he chaned along until some time past two o'clock and he would forget the pain completely. We did this every day until the wound healed. "This reminds us that we should learn how to chant and chant habitually. So when we are hit by sickness, we can use chanting to cope with any discomfort. When the mind is concentrated on chanting, it will forget other things. This method has proven to be a successful one. "Your decision to care for your father during his sickness is the right thing to do. Although he neglected you and your mother, you must know the fact that parents are the people to whom we owe our debts of gratitude to for many reasons. 1. Parents serve as the physical mold. They give us the physical form as a human, suitable for performing meritorious deeds. Although they may have not raised us, we still owe our debt of gratitude to them. If they also bring us up as good