Building a Trustworthy Family : หน้า 14/207

involvement with this distrustful person. Good people will not want to befriend dishonest people because they do not want to gain a bad reputation through association. So if a person in a family does not have truthfulness or a sense of responsibility towards work, speech, personal relationships, goodness and morality, the problem of suspicion will develop. Then how can they live together? Thus, for a family to have a strong foundation, family members must have truthfulness or sacca as the first habit. 2) Self-control or dama corrects the problem of foolishness, of not keeping up with people, the world and of surrendering to defilements. Dama means having self control. The way to practice self-control is to be alert and to train oneself without exception, by giving oneself more knowledge, ability, and goodness everyday. Self control can also be referred to colloquially as, "loving to train oneself." And sometimes the elders may refer to it as, "Don't let yourself be foolish." The way to increase one's knowledge, ability and goodness in every way is to follow these 4 guidelines: 2.1) You must find a good teacher. That means that regardless of whether a person is interested in a subject or wishes to increase his/her knowledge, that person must find a teacher who has knowledge and ability in that area before doing anything else. Otherwise, there are many opportunities for failure. If a person is truly unable to find the right teacher, at the very least, one should find a teacher who has the most knowledge in the area of interest. 2.2) You must listen to your teacher. That means that you should listen carefully to your teacher. Listen many times over and ask questions until you truly understand. It is important to understand clearly what your teacher is teaching, in theory, method, practice, and so on, as far in-depth as the subject matter reaches. 2.3) You must analyze the teacher's words. Look at every point that the teacher has explained and analyze it until you truly understand the reasoning for its significance, its practical use, its precautions, its benefits and disadvantages. 2.4) You must follow the teacher's instructions. That means that after you analyze the material and understand what is correct and proper, you begin to follow and practice those teachings with attention and care. You must not be careless because it may bring damaging results later on. The Warm Hearted Family 26 The Heart of the Family The Warm Hearted Family 27 The Heart of the Family