Resolving Family Conflicts Through Discipline : หน้า 84/207

In the end, she made the decision to ask a respected senior monk at a temple. She told him that her two sisters were still in school. When they graduated and could look after themselves, there would be a slim chance for them to reconcile. She was so anxious and felt terrible having to witness their conflicts every day. The respected senior monk listened to her problem sympathetically and replied, "Your parents should not have allowed their conflicts to reach this level. If this isn't resolved now, after they graduate, get jobs and earn a living, they certainly won't listen to anyone then." "I have a personal example I'd like to share with you. I have two older sisters. When I was young, I would sometimes argue with my sisters. But my father would exert immediate control over the situation. And we stopped our arguments right away. My father prevented conflicts among his children in the following ways:" Technique #1: Exercising seniority. As soon as my father knew that we had argued or fought, he wouldn't say much. He'd tell us to come see him together. He would point to me, the youngest, and tell me to break off a large stick for whipping. When I gave my father the stick, he would ask only one short question: "Did you fight with your sister?" "Yes, Father," I would reply. "Then stand with your arms folded." First, he would give the stick to my sister and let her whip me once for not respecting seniority, regardless of who was right or wrong. Second, he would ask questions about what had happened. If I was in the wrong, my father would make me find another whipping stick. This time, he would whip me because of my wrong doing. If my sister was wrong (I could only daydream about whipping her), my father would point at her to get a new whipping stick. He would whip her himself for bullying her younger brother. Regardless of who was wrong, I would get the first whipping for disrespecting seniority. So, why would I want argue with my sisters. This practical lesson brought us together to love each other. Technique #2: Responsibility for Housework Because our family had a farm, on the weekends, my father would make us work. He would assign us to remove the weeds, clean the lots, dig the dirt, or prepare the lot for planting. It had to be done by dinner, otherwise, we couldn't eat. So, we cooperated and worked hard to complete the task together. The Warm Hearted Family What should Do 166 When Their Child Do Not Gon The Warm Hearted Family 167 What should Do When Their Children Do Not Get Along?