The Burden of Wealth and Survival : หน้า 45/200

position, as he could fight or escape. Sodh’s survival instinct told him that he should switch his position from the helm to the front of the boat to avoid danger. So he ordered his crewman at the front to take his place at the helm. Then a guilty conscience struck him. He thought: “All the crew gets from me for looking after this wretched barge is eleven or twelve Baht a month (equivalence of 50-60 cents in those days). As for me, I am the owner of the boat and I have all the money. If I hand down death to my less-than-fortunate workers I would be taking advantage of a fellow man. This is the wrong thing to do. The money is mine; the boat is mine; if someone should die it should be me. Let the workers escape so they can live to take care of their families.” He was ashamed for having made the selfish move. He called the crewmen back to the oars and sat himself at the tiller with the rifle in his lap. Although he finally managed to pass through the crisis in safety, the whole episode left him with a deep sorrow for his fellow men. He came to realize: “Making a living is such a hard thing indeed—to go through such an ordeal just to avail oneself of a day’s wage. Material wealth is so ingrained in man’s values that he loses touch with the reality and true purpose of life. In the end everyone must die. My father has died. My relatives have died. And when they died they could take nothing with them. What is the point of having all these possessions when you can’t enjoy them after your death? One day, I, too, must die. Haven’t I learned from my deceased father and relatives?”