Navigating Family Life and Marriage Challenges : หน้า 31/216

Part One: Family Life if there are in-laws heavily involved in our relationship, we will have to endure conflicts from them as well. No matter how good a relationship is, we will inevitably encounter conflict. Of course, it is better to resolve any weakness we think we might have PRIOR to our marriage! "It is like Tongue and Teeth - They always bump into each other!" The real question that we and our partner have to ask each other is: "Are we sure that we can tolerate each other in the long run?" If we are not sure, then we should run - not walk - away. Do not ask how many carats there are in the engagement ring, how much money you will get, or how well your partner can cook. Instead, ask "Are you sure you can tolerate me? Endurance also means that we have to put up with our own kilesa, or negative behavior. Kilesa is dangerous to relationships because we allow these bad habits to control us so that we suffer and experience distress, leading us to feel guilty and self-critical. Some people are controlled by their bad habits, and consistently make wrong decisions. In the end, they will no longer have any sense of right or wrong (morality or ethics) and may continue their bad habits until they develop possible addictions which are even MORE difficult to correct. Apayamukha is the word for the roads that we use when we allow bad habits to rule our life. The people we know while we travel this "bad habit road" may not be healthy for us because they may be spreading their bad habits out to us as well. The kilesa in their own mind will Family Day By Day 29 Four Keys to Avoiding Marriage Problems