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meditation. She strove always in any task she set her mind to – with a joyous smile on her face that pre-empted victory. She was someone who never wasted any time and had no such thing as time free from doing good deeds. When she closed her eyes to meditate, she did so in earnest, cultivating concentration at the centre of her body, determined to see the crystal ball for herself. Indeed, she meditated *too* seriously and it quickly brought on a headache and feelings of dizziness. She was determined to find the cen- tral point of balance of the mind. There were no remaining extraneous thoughts in her mind. She avoided the sort of effort that makes it uncomfortable to breathe but her mind still did not reach a standstill. She could see nothing but darkness in meditation and this went on for weeks, without any glimpse of inner light. Upāsika Thongsuk taught her always to keep her mind at peace with the visualisation and the mantra. She said: "Don't worry if you're not an overnight suc- cess. Don't use force on your mind. Don't squeeze your eyes shut. Don't be afraid of seeing nothing and if you do see some- thing at the centre of your body, don't get elated or the newfound image will disap- pear again!" Nodding in understanding, Chandra tried again to find a peaceful mind through meditation. She put aside her thoughts of success and temporarily shelved the wish to find her father. Sometimes she felt discouraged. It felt like she was running after a 26